The Awkward Human Survival Guide Retired

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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245: You Got Room'd

April 11, 2019 at 5:00PM • 51 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about office saunas, clown problems, and All the Old Ghosts with special (musical) guest Mike Roy!

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Story Time: Mike shares his band's new album "All the Old Ghosts." Listen here.

Special guest: Mike Roy 


Drew: "Voicemail"

Sarah: "Dear Awkward Podcast,

My name is Sarah and I'm a 31-year-old 100% lesbian who is dating a 28-year-old 100% bisexual clown. Her name is Mira and yes the clown thing is the problem with for us (or "for me" as she would put it).

Okay here we go.

I don't care that she wants to be a clown. When we're alone it's all good. It's a problem when we're out with friends or sometimes anywhere at all because she tells EVERYONE she's a clown if she doesn't have something on that makes people ask her about it so they ask about it and she offers to show off. She loves to show off. Guess who has to be her assistant?

I have gotten so much food and water on me when we go to parties or brunch or the fucking dog park because of her clown demonstrations. I told her I don't want to do it anymore but she shames me in front of people so it's like I'm fucked either way. She's like "Sarah, I can't make them smile without you" or "Sarah, I want you to be a part of this because it's so important to me." So then I get people with puppy dog eyes looking at us and I can't fucking say no because I'll look like a bitch.

I tried telling her in advance not to ask me but it still happens! Then she's like "I couldn't say no to them" but she could just not talk about being a fucking clown sometimes!!!

There's nothing I can do right? I just have to break up with her right?

Thanks a mil,

Salli: "Aloha coworkers. I'm Salli and I sweat to much for my boss. But it’s because it's too hot to work in my office. My boss won’t drop the heat down and says I gotta get my sweat under control. How am I supposed to do that???"

Jake: "I bought a fart machine as a joke. My girlfriend got really offended so I lied and said it wasn’t me. It’s hiding somewhere in our apartment and I know I didn’t forget where I put it but I can’t find it! She’s so mad. What do I do? It just keeps farting while we’re watching Netflix."