The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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236: Peeing for Feminism

January 20, 2019 at 1:00PM • 1 hour 9 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about mom's erotica, HIV for the whole family, and mandatory hole waxing with special guest Lauren Smerkanich!

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Story Time: Lauren lets a man use the bathroom and Cathy's morals won't allow it.

Special guests: Lauren Smerkanich 


Waldo: "Dear AHSG,
My wife and I are HIV positive. I found out at a routine checkup and we had the inevitable quarrel that was resolved when I believed that she truly didn't know. We know I didn't contract the virus because I'm tested yearly at my physical and I've only slept with her. She doesn't get tested as regularly and we've been together three years. She was tested two months after we began dating and did not test positive. I saw it with my own eyes because I'm really paranoid and needed to before we did anal. Now it seems my worst fears have come home to roost.

We have both come to terms with our diagnosis and understand we can still lead a relatively normal life without death looming at every turn but we have another dilemma. She wants ("needs") to tell her parents and I don't want mine to know. She needs her parents for emotional support. I need mine out of my business for mental stability. If her parents know, they will tell my parents because they are friends and her dad has a mind for gossip. One of us loses in either situation and it isn't fair. What do we do? I must underscore that if her dad finds out he will tell my dad no matter what, even if he promises he won't, so please don't suggest that. He cannot shut his mouth. It is impossible for him.

Thank you,

Mallory: "Aloha. Long time listener, first time writing in. I realize this probably won’t get answered in time, but I’d like to know how you guys would approach this awkward situation. I’m in a serious relationship and it is my first time spending a holiday with a significant other’s family. My boyfriend’s mom wrote a book awhile back and I read it between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I told her I was going to be reading it and would discuss it when I came for Christmas so there’s no avoiding this situation. I enjoyed the book...but there were lots of sex scenes. It basically dominated the book. There was a blow job scene on page 4. PAGE 4! My boyfriend has read it and warned me, but hasn’t really discussed it with his mother. Do I avoid bringing up the sex scenes all together and only talk about the other parts of the book? Do I address it immediately and laugh it off? I’m not a prude and against talking about sex or anything, I just don’t often talk about this topic with my boyfriend’s mother, ya know? So what would you guys do?

Also, Erica—I’m a poor grad student and don’t have any money, but I’d totally take you out to red lobster."

Not a Pedophile: "I have a very hot boyfriend (VERY HOT) but his butthole has more than a few hairs on it and I want him to get it waxed. He loves when I eat his ass but the hair grosses me out. I would get over it but I can't so I want to ask him to just get waxed. Is there a non-rude way to do it? Can I just be like "It would turn me on so much if you waxed. (But also you have to, it's not a choice.)"? The hair just scares me because what is it hiding? You never know."

  • What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?

    Deadspin: "It’s here! It’s finally here! Every year it seems like the big day will never come, but it’s here. It’s the day to gather with your family and friends ‘round the hearth, warm beverages and sweet treats at the ready, and have a hearty chortle over the things America stuck inside itself and couldn’t remove without the help of trained medical personnel."