Tech Douchebags Retired

Tech Douchebags

TDB is a twelve-step program for technology snobs disguised as a comedic interview podcast - humorously helping geeks confront their digital narcissism and unhealthy attachment to their gadgets & devices.

Hosted by Jordan Cooper.



#35: The Frequent Flyer

November 23, 2014 at 12:15PM • 1 hour 5 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Dameon Welch-Abernathy a.k.a. PhoneBoy shares his discomfort being disconnected from the world on long airline flights, dealing with airport security and the plane's crew when you're traveling with many electronic devices, and how he meticulously prepares for trips as a technophile.

In addition, we discuss the social dynamics of air travel as an introvert, the slow adoption of technological amenities by the airlines, complaining about slow wi-fi speeds at 30,000 feet, and catching other passengers watching porn on their laptops.

It concludes with Dameon completing step ten by admitting there's no particular need to turn on his cellular phone at the very moment the plane lands on the Tarmac.


#34: The Picture Packrat

November 16, 2014 at 1:15PM • 1 hour 13 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Haddie Cooke of 5by5's The Frequency confesses her addiction to any platform that allows her to collect and organize images, why Pinterest is her go-to search engine, how she pays too much attention to who likes her Instagram shots, and how photo sharing power users are just as much "nerds" as stereotypical technophiles.

In addition, we discuss out of control Instagram hashtagging, how the internet has destroyed the scarcity of cute animals, dealing with friends who are way behind the times in discovering viral videos, why Facebook is despised so much by the tech insiders, and how social platforms are defined by audiences, not interfaces and mechanics.

It concludes with Haddie completing step seven by agreeing to delete her Pinterest account or at least curtail the sheer number of languishing boards she sets up there.


#33: The Hate-Reader

November 9, 2014 at 10:00AM • 1 hour 1 minute

In this week’s meeting, Shawn King of Your Mac Life and 5by5's Amplified shares his obsession with calling out misinformation, bad writing and biased reporting on tech blogs, how he believes journalism is not living up to its ideal, and why he feels compelled to be so aggressive in taking writers to task for doing a poor job servicing their readers.

In addition, we discuss how hate-reading can be good for you, why it's important to consume news with a jaundiced eye, how "citizen journalism" has as many downsides as it does upsides, the problem with getting all your information from your Facebook feed, and that children aren't getting taught in school how to filter, digest and understand the news.

It concludes with Shawn scoffing at step nine by being unwilling to make amends with John Martellaro about his poor writing at the Mac Observer over the past decade.


#32: The Fave Star

November 2, 2014 at 5:45PM • 1 hour 36 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Joe Rosensteel of Defocused works through step four by explaining in detail his obsession with favoriting tweets, how he uses them to ease the apprehension of jumping into conversations, dealing with the asymmetric nature of relationships built on Twitter, and how he enjoys seeing the minutiae of other people's lives.

In addition, we discuss the subculture of passive Twitter communication, the different types of ironic trolling, what your Twitter analytics say about you, ethical blocking techniques, why the "micro-blogging" medium isn't conducive to threaded conversations, how algorithmically curated timelines will affect user behavior, and how everyone edits themselves on social media and purposefully constructs the view they present to the world.


#31: The Contact Completist

October 26, 2014 at 5:30PM • 1 hour 8 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Matt Stratton of Chef Software and Arrested DevOps reaches the breaking point of obsessively maintaining 3000+ contacts in his address book, syncing everything across devices, dealing with unlabeled phone numbers and incomplete profiles, and his need to have consistent, normalized personal information across all data sources.

In addition, we discuss the confusion behind what DevOps actually is, the endless contention inside companies between software developers and system administrators, how DevOps breaks down silos to create a better way of doing work, and how organizations can instill a blameless culture and produce quicker and more qualitative results.

It concludes with Matt completing step three by finally declaring "contact bankruptcy" and relying solely on Gmail's search functionalities to find the people he wishes to contact.


#30: The Doomsday Prepper

October 19, 2014 at 3:15PM • 37 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Josh Centers of TidBITS shares his desire to live more self-reliantly as a "country bumpkin" while still having access to technology, having more contrast in his life with time away from the online grind, how his rural upbringing in the South glides him through step eleven, and how if you're a technophile, many people assume that you're rich.

In addition, we discuss how Apple's simple mantra of "it just works" isn't true anymore, whether or not there's a need for a yearly release cycle for operating systems, how most people view password authentication as an obstruction, and the Apple Watch coming, why the public treats fashion brands psychologically different than electronics brands.

It concludes with Josh agreeing to an accountability challenge in resisting the urge to upgrade his Mac to OS X 10.10 Yosemite until Thanksgiving.


#29: The Shameless Subtweeter

October 12, 2014 at 12:30PM • 1 hour 7 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Ben Brooks of The Brooks Review takes a journey through step six by sharing the perils of having a preconceived "persona" online, how he deals with people who don't agree with what he writes, why he dishes out harsh realities when others use him as an example of success, and how he hates seeing creative people that embrace a "participation trophy" mindset.

In addition, we discuss the art and science of subtweeting, the valid merits of blocking people, how content creators only use Twitter for the narcissistic pursuit of a big audience, the over-politicization of social media, how ignorance perpetuates the gaming of social platforms, and that the internet as a whole has become a wasteland of self-promotion.


#28: The Envious Gadget Geek

October 5, 2014 at 11:00AM • 1 hour 7 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Chris Enns of Goodstuff FM confesses how he feels the need to keep up appearances as an early adopter technophile, why he went four years between iPhone upgrades, how social media enforces his "keeping up with the Joneses" mindset, and how he has an unhealthy urge to be a local celebrity that everyone loves, but all while not leaving the house.

In addition, we discuss people who abuse text messaging as a medium, how we view notifications as more interruptive than normal folks, friends & family who aren't completely amazed at the new features of an operating system, how Apple doesn't seem to make products with kids in mind, and the rising costs of being a family on the cutting edge of technology.

It concludes with Chris completing step nine by apologizing to his friends for judging them based on the amount of phone notifications they get in comparison to him.


#27: The Watch Lover

September 28, 2014 at 11:15AM • 57 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Lex Friedman of Midroll Media grasps at any justification to buy the Apple Watch even though he doesn't use the two smart watches he currently owns, how he thinks it will help with his phone-checking obsession, why the Apple Watch will still be useful to him stand-alone, and how his purchase decisions can definitely be a byproduct of his jealousy of other people's use cases.

In addition, Lex takes a trip through step ten by admitting that he looks down at people who camp out for iPhone launches or even pre-order them online, how he's conquered the early adopter need to be first (at least this time around), how Apple and the mainstream press perpetuate the feeling of missing out, and whether or not the psychological underpinnings of this behavior are inherently unhealthy.


#26: The Vanity Addict

September 21, 2014 at 12:15PM • 1 hour 16 minutes

In this week’s meeting, comedian Matt Ruby of Vooza confesses his social media usage is purely driven by egotism, why he fears apathy more so than offending people with potentially insensitive jokes on Twitter, the tendency to make snap judgements based solely on someone's social network profile, and how nearly every empty minute of his life has become an opportunity to consume content.

In addition, we discuss how every human quirk has been turned into a "disorder", why online social networks are a platform for us to overcompensate for our depressingly average lives, how society has never been accustomed to having a wide array of weak-tie connections, how the media is slowly brainwashing kids not to be able to distinguish editorial from advertising, and we question whether or not targeted ads are inherently evil.

It concludes with Matt completing step five by admitting he feels the smartphone entitles him to no boredom in life even though he fears missing out on "real world" human moments because of his addiction to it.