Tech Douchebags Retired

Tech Douchebags

TDB is a twelve-step program for technology snobs disguised as a comedic interview podcast - humorously helping geeks confront their digital narcissism and unhealthy attachment to their gadgets & devices.

Hosted by Jordan Cooper.



#45: The Privileged Consumer

February 1, 2015 at 1:15PM • 1 hour 26 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Dan Benjamin of 5by5 works through step five by sharing his high expectations in being able to watch content whenever & wherever he wants, how he has the luxury to pay to remove annoyances with media consumption, why it spurs his growing attitude of entitlement, but admit that these are indeed privileged problems to have.

In addition, we discuss the fears of updating iPhone apps right away, paranoia with products and services tracking your location, ad relevance versus intrusiveness, ad retargeting, and the podcasting "renaissance".


#44: The Podcast Jackal

January 25, 2015 at 2:15PM • 41 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Mike Beasterfeld of Better Know A Jackal shares his narcissistic motivations in listening to live podcasts, handling the asynchronous relationship he has with podcast hosts, and how he's afraid of evangelizing technology out of the fear of being judged.

In addition, we discuss the distinction between jackals and trolls, the culture of live IRC chat rooms & podcast show title suggestions, podcasting as an Olympic sport, and cattle driving.

It concludes with Mike committing to step eight by researching and compiling a list of podcasts he can recommend to rural farmers in Kansas to listen to on their tractors.


#43: The Workflow Whisperer

January 18, 2015 at 10:15AM • 1 hour 3 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Alex Guyot admits to his constant fiddling with iOS automation and URL schemes, his obsession with "every tap counts" type of peak efficiency, why it's painful for him to watch friends use their phones, and how he struggles to find time to build workflows now that he's busy in college.

In addition, we discuss how iOS 8 extensions both simplified and complicated workflows, Apple's inconsistencies when enforcing developer guidelines, why the perceived decline of Apple's software quality is a problem, gesture discoverability, and how users will always be hesitant to adopt new behaviors when they appear inconsistent.

It concludes with Alex committing to step two by agreeing to go one full week completing tasks on his iPad without utilizing any iOS automation workflows.


#42: The Functional Designer

January 11, 2015 at 1:30PM • 1 hour 9 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Joe Darnell shares his obsession with manipulating images in Photoshop, how he tends to live like his life is the subject of an art magazine, why his motivation in "making the world a better place" is an outright narcissistic lie, and how his tech douchebaggery extends to many other areas of his life.

In addition, we discuss coffee snobbery vs. pizza snobbery, having empathy towards other people’s personal preferences, how what you grew up with affects your taste, and how all design is contextual and leads to function.

It concludes with Joe completing step eight by assembling a list of his former co-workers and admitting to them that he cleaned their computer keyboards without their knowledge.


#41: The Homescreen King

January 4, 2015 at 12:30PM • 1 hour 3 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Ronnie Lutes works through step two by sharing his obsession of meticulously arranging his iPhone homescreen apps, how his eyes bleed when seeing homescreens that aren't color coordinated and how he overthinks the decision between the functionality of the app and the design of its icon.

In addition, we discuss the portfolio value of a homescreen, how a phone's homescreen gives a glimpse into a person's life, homescreen "stalkers", how workflows & extensions have affected the choices for homescreen apps, and why homescreen apps should ultimately focus on efficiency over style.


#40: The Reformed App Developer

December 28, 2014 at 3:30PM • 1 hour 23 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Jared Sinclair of Bloglovin' confesses how much more happy he is now working for a company after leaving independent iOS app development, the hard lessons he learned and business mistakes he made with Unread, how he bought into the myth of App Store riches, and how he is taming the urge now to make an app on a whim on the side.

In addition, we discuss the misnomers of technological solutionism as it relates to apps and podcasts, why targeted advertising isn't evil, how tracking and algorithms can only help serve niche products better, and how important it is for any business to spend time learning what people want.

It concludes with Jared completing step eight by apologizing for being harsh on Twitter turning its backs on third party developers due to the natural reality of their business objectives.


#39: The Millenial Duo

December 21, 2014 at 10:45AM • 54 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Liz Furl and Sara Stewart of 5by5's LadyBits work through step ten by sharing how their whole lives revolve around their smartphones, their obsessive-compulsive behavior in managing their schedule with calendars, getting twitchy over e-mail, cheating at Instagram, their hatred of Pinterest despite the gender stereotype, and how blurred the lines are for them between online and "real life".

In addition, we discuss how millenials use their phones differently than older generations, dealing with people who are unaware of simple technological solutions to their problems, how Google has ruined betting on trivial facts, whether or not certain mediums have a gender affinity, and the misconceptions the public has regarding the narcissistic relationship twenty-somethings have with technology.


#38: The Universal Collaborator

December 14, 2014 at 11:45AM • 1 hour 9 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Kyle Roderick of Transmission and 5by5's Internet Outrage Machine works through step four by sharing his process when collaborating with other people on projects, how he usually defaults to a system or platform with the least friction, and that he overanalyzes communication as if his mind is a constant decision tree or flowchart.

In addition, we discuss e-mail as the lowest common denominator, composing technical instructions, the tyranny of read receipts, dealing with people who don't understand cloud storage, and Kyle explains how he handles working with his brother as a creative partner.


#37: The Knowledge Collector

December 7, 2014 at 11:15AM • 1 hour 12 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Matt McInerney of 5by5's On The Grid confesses his obsession with bookmarking Wikipedia entries, fawning over the useless knowledge he's accumulated, how he decides what links are worth saving in Pinboard, and what the future holds for services that cater to digital information hoarders like himself.

In addition, we discuss the font design, how fonts are named, whether or not Amazon should add more font options on Kindles, the argument against putting a case on your smartphone, the economics of cronuts, and why you should never get medical advice from Yahoo Answers.

It concludes with Matt balking on step three by failing to turn his pursuit of trivial knowledge into the care of full-text algorithmic searches.


#36: The List Switcher

November 30, 2014 at 2:30PM • 1 hour 8 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Dave Caolo of 5by5's Home Work and Board Games Weekly confesses his addiction to constantly changing, tinkering with and trying out new to-do list apps, how he abuses task management systems to relieve stress, how he games most app's rewards system to feel more productive, and why getting your significant other to work within your system is incredibly frustrating.

In addition, we discuss poor board game playing etiquette, thinking games versus family games, card drafting game mechanics, dealing with friends who don't put their full attention into playing a game, and getting enraged at opponents in Risk and Monopoly.

It concludes with Dave agreeing to an accountability pact with the group that he will stick with Todoist and not switch to any other task management apps on all platforms for a full year.