Tech Douchebags Retired

Tech Douchebags

TDB is a twelve-step program for technology snobs disguised as a comedic interview podcast - humorously helping geeks confront their digital narcissism and unhealthy attachment to their gadgets & devices.

Hosted by Jordan Cooper.



#55: The Cheapskate Dater

April 12, 2015 at 10:45AM • 55 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Curtis Silver shares his experience with online dating as a recently single man with social anxiety, why he won't pay a dime for any of the online dating sites or apps, how he filters profiles to find potential matches, and his problem finding women that don't know his mother.

In addition, we discuss fake travel blogging, how Tinder is horrible for seeking relationship material, the expectations on Googling people before first dates, and how the process of online dating is a godsend for the socially awkward.

It concludes with Curtis completing step eight by making a list of all the people he's trolled on Craigslist's personal ads section to apologize for wasting their time.


#54: The Subscribaholic

April 5, 2015 at 3:45PM • 52 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Ryan Sullivan of WP Site Care confesses his dependency on Amazon, that he makes nearly all of his household and grocery purchases online, and how he's concerned that his mailman and neighbors are secretly judging him by the sheer amount of packages he gets delivered on a daily basis.

In addition, we discuss managing Wordpress websites, poor customer support from web hosting providers, dealing with the disposal of tons of cardboard boxes, how Amazon is more similar to Walmart than other tech companies, and why mainstream people find buying groceries online to be so odd to do.

It concludes with Ryan conquering step five by admitting he takes his Amazon Prime membership for granted and has become entitled to free two-day shipping.


#53: The Stream Fiend

March 29, 2015 at 10:30AM • 48 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Joe Caiati of Diagnostics & Usage confesses his addiction to the new mobile live-streaming apps Meerkat & Periscope, how it feeds his desperate grasp for attention, why he can't stop himself from signing up to every new social network, and how he's always afraid of looking stupid on Twitter for not being "on the pulse" of the latest news.

In addition, we discuss why ephemeral media is so appealing to consume, the adoption curve of creative professionals on content platforms, RSS channel surfing, Twitter rubbernecking, and the mentality of "first!" on the internet.

It concludes with Joe completing step nine by apologizing to the random stranger he totally freaked out about on his first ever Meerkat stream.


#52: The Perpetual Contrarian

March 22, 2015 at 9:30AM • 52 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Brian S. Hall tackles step six by sharing how he gets pegged a "hater" on Twitter for criticizing tech writers, his condemnation of business models that lead to poor journalism, and that he worries his constant contrarian opinions and cynical "hot takes" will end up becoming a farce of itself after too long.

In addition, we discuss how the Apple blogosphere is like Fox News, the notion that Apple is somehow infallible because "money", and that tech writers that essentially cheerlead for the world's richest company are doing a disservice to their readers and the public in general.


#51: The Overprivileged Parent

March 15, 2015 at 9:30AM • 55 minutes

In this week’s meeting, John Sextro of 5by5's iOhYes works through step five by admitting he spoils his four children with the latest and greatest gadgets & devices, the perils of raising kids in this hyper-connected technological age, and the obvious disciplinary double-standard when he personally has a five-computer home office setup.

In addition, we discuss how YouTube is completely replacing TV for kids, parents pimping out their kids for pageviews, if it's healthy for children to have web personalities as surrogate friends, and why Snapchat scares the crap of out of most parents.


#50: The Parody Account Creator

March 8, 2015 at 2:45PM • 45 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Kyle Seth Gray shares his addiction to creating parody accounts on Twitter, how he get bored with them very quickly even though he's on Twitter nearly all the time, how he's "too cool" for old news and the many ways he's a stereotypical self-centered oversharing millenial.

In addition, we discuss meme culture, the life cycle of an internet trend, how algorithms affect the flow of news to different people, Twitter focusing more now on the consumer than the creator, and how "normal" people just want approval online from their real-life friends and not random strangers.

It concludes with Kyle committing to step seven by agreeing to delete all the parody Twitter accounts he is no longer tweeting from and has left abandoned.


#49: The Mac Convert

March 1, 2015 at 5:45PM • 54 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Vic Hudson shares his experience making the transition from PC to Mac, how he's battle-hardened from having to fix and maintain his Windows machine all the time, coming to terms with non-user upgradeable computers, and how the older he gets, the less he's inclined to experiment and tinker with things.

In addition, we discuss the increasingly niggling bugs in Mac OS & Apple TV, knowing more than Apple Store employees, web browsers as the biggest culprits of memory leaks, Windows desktop themes, and tweeting incessantly about what podcast you're currently listening to.

It concludes with Vic tackling step six by seeking the group's help in figuring out his personal brand and the best name for his one-man app development company.


#48: The Free Access Educator

February 22, 2015 at 12:15PM • 52 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Bradley Chambers of Out Of School works through step eleven by describing the day-to-day struggles he has as the I.T. director of an educational institution, why he leans more towards allowing students free access to information rather than broadly and strictly blocking internet content, and that teaching digital citizenship is important for the current and future generations of children.

In addition, we discuss Apple's deployment practices for schools, how operating system bugs dramatically affect his job, how otherwise good hardware vendors tend to make the most terrible software and the line in the sand when offering support in 'bring your own device' environments.


#47: The Battered Apple Writer

February 15, 2015 at 10:15AM • 52 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Jim Dalrymple of The Loop and 5by5's Amplified attempts to tackle step eight by confronting the trauma of covering Apple when the company was beleaguered in the 90's, how it fuels his ongoing vengeance towards Blackberry & Samsung, and now with the company's earnings hitting world records, why he still feels compelled to convince others that Apple products are the real deal.

In addition, we discuss how enthusiasts follow technology with a sports team mentality, how geeks have an emotional connection to their devices just as musicians to their instruments, the commoditization of smartphone market, and whether it says much that many people throw Apple apps into a "crap" folder on their phones.


#46: The Launch Addict

February 8, 2015 at 8:45AM • 57 minutes

In this week’s meeting, Justin Jackson of Build & Launch works through step five by confessing to his obsession with starting new side projects, that he rarely informs his wife about these new endeavors, how he feels old for the startup world, and that he's jealous of single, young entrepreneurs.

In addition, we discuss the vernacular used when ordering coffee, why launching businesses is like having sex, checking your privilege, how Product Hunt is the new SkyMall catalog, how twenty-somethings in Silicon Valley view money differently, and toilet paper as a service.