The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

Got a question or comment? Visit awkwardhuman.com/ask for lots of options! Check out our Subreddit, too!

**NSFW**

Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.



← Previous Episode   |   Next Episode →

89: Next Gen Boy: The New Beginnings

November 24, 2015 at 11:00AM • 1 hour 43 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about man slaves, next gen boys, and an unearthing of the bug kingdom! Send us your questions: awkwardhuman.com/ask!




Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: David has sex with a porn star.

This Week's Questions:

  • Vincent (27/SM) asks, "I know this question will come off as awfully silly but I am desperate for an answer. Where does a young man meet an older, ugly woman? Ugly by societal aesthetic standards. To me she would be upheld as the embodiment of true beauty. I'm looking for a lady like Rhea Perlman or Pam Ferris in her mid-life exquisiteness. They are too old for a relationship, but I would never throw either out of bed. I despise the tight bodies of youthful, women on diets. They look like catalogue women with nothing unique about them. I like the detailed patchwork of skin that's seen the world and knows the sun, not a dang tanning bed or the worst: oompa loompa spray. I was engaged to a woman like this once and it felt like I was making love to a plastic doll. Her personality left much to be desired. Ugly women are complicated and beautiful in ways few people appreciate. One would think the market would be left open for me, but because I am only 27 I am barraged with skepticism, insecurity, and lack of commitment. I want to meet an unattractive woman I can someday call my wife but not one will take me seriously. I need assistance with my approach. Now I break my own heart trying and failing. These women are a callous on my heart, a rush of hormonal bliss. I feel only real and alive amongst them. I understand how silly this must seem to you, but I can't stop these feelings. I feel outside of the universe, that most men and women are alien and manufactured. I just want something real. Please do help me achieve that."
  • Anonymous asks, "You like tumblr pr0n, so you just have to: nextgenboy.tumblr.com"
  • Harriet (35/BF) asks, "Aloha coworkers! I'm depressed but also sooo excited I have a reason to write you! I'm bisexual and so is my boyfriend. We're both 35. We fell in love four years ago and are finally moving in. I thought I knew everything about him until we were packing and I found his jar collection—filled with different species of insects. LIVE FUCKING INSECTS! I wonder if this was a secret? I didn't know he kept jars of cockroaches and ants and spiders in his apartment for almost five years. Huh. Maybe he tried to hide it from me?? I don't know if I'm upset about the lying or near-lying but I am upset for 100% sure because I don't want to cohabitate with a wall full of jarred bugs! He'd been telling me over and over we need to find an apartment with an extra room. For what? Chillin, he said. He left out the 'with bugs' part. The most important part! I love him and I want to be with him but not the bugs. I suggested a storage unit. That's too far away for him. I suggested he build a bug shed but he's worried about theft. I suggested he just get rid of the bugs and he cried because he felt like a disappointment. Now I feel like a bitch. Am I being a bitch?"
  • Anthony (20s/SM) asks, "I think my girl has turned me into a slave and I need to break it off. Tell me what you think. We're in our 20s. She picks all the activities. She won't tie her shoes, I have to do it. She won't carry her purse, I have to do it. She won't even hug my mother. My mother is making me hug her twice for both of us now like it's some passive-aggressive war over who gets to control me the most. I brush her teeth for her. She gets a 30 minute foot rub before bed. I'm not a pushover. This started off as an erotic game. It was fun at first but over the last eight months she's been creepin in with little things. There are so many rules I can't remember them. She gets mad and yells at me. I don't know how to backtrack so I think I have to break it off. I think she's taking advantage of this 'fetish.' But do you think there's a way to make it work?"

Special Segment: An interview with #1 Dan about his work making our social media accounts awesome!

Final Thoughts: We discuss the Dump Cooking and Baking phenomenon and Darren shares another sensuous number from his birthday show.

Related Links:

  • Next Gen Boy: For the next gen of boys. Striving to keep it clean, both in story and pics. All pics are presumed to be of the legal age. (Editorial note: totally not a creepy description at all!)
  • Peach Pudding Cake: Have a big family or having people over? Peach Pudding Cake is a great dessert. It's easy to make and will satisfy the sweet tooth. Don't forget to top it off with a dollop of fresh whipped cream or a scoop of vanilla ice cream.