The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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88: Formophobia

November 15, 2015 at 1:00AM • 1 hour 13 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about adult circumcision, homophobic friends, and the fear of filling out forms. Want to ask a question on the show? Email [email protected] or call 323-456-3345 to leave us a voicemail.

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: A woman uses her miscarriage as an excuse to break up with Brad.

This Week's Questions:

  • Jen (25/SF) asks, "Hey guys! Keep up all the great work, I'm really enjoying this website. Looks like you're heading in a great direction. :) I've written in before. I'm 25 years old and recently married. I've come to realize that I have a really intense fear/issue (or something?) with filling out forms. I just started a new job and had to fill out the standard healthcare/I9 etc. forms. It's intensely hard for me to concentrate when reading forms and actually turn it into something that I can understand. I love reading and haven't really had issues with it before but when I'm reading forms everything may as well be written in a different language b/c my comprehension is so terrible. My husband got really upset when he saw the original healthcare forms I tried to send in b/c i was notably incorrect in multiple places - which is really a bad thing. He's trying to save me from this experience by making me come to him with every form i ever have to fill out in the future. I'm struggling with this idea as it's painful for me to imagine going through my entire adult life not being able to fill out forms. Any suggestions for combating this issue?"
  • Nigel (Formerly Anonymous, 17/BM) asks, "Hey guys just call me Nigel I really don't care and Daren I think you are very sassy and yes I'm your fan .I don't really know where to start from to be honest but anyway when I was a kid I was pretty much a loner my older brothers left me out of the circle and used to team up and kick the crap out of me this resulted in a couple of visits to the emergency room not only did they hurt physically but mentally also they fucked with my head that much I couldn't sleep at night telling me about story's of kidnappers and murders i never really saw my dad and didn't really know him as when he came home I would already be asleep my mum and dad had a pretty awful divorce that resulted in me having to pick the parent I chose my mum as I didn't know my dad well some years later my mum had found her self a boyfriend that was controlling with me and my brothers but my mum was blind to it he basically suppressed us so we wouldn't make a fight over anything my dad then got a girlfriend she is okay but a couple of years later my dad was accused of sexual assault I don't know if he did or not but he got away with it and having to hear that my dad did something messed with my head I found my girlfriend when I was 14 however we where just best friends however she has voices in her head and constantly cut herself I then had to try help obviously she got better when I was 15 I tried coming out told my best friend and she then spread it around dumb bitch this made everyone make fun of me constantly and just made me feel like I was doing something wrong so I lied and said to everyone it wasn't true they all belived me eventually after a year I then started going out with my girlfriend and everything was fine until she started getting the voices again so I had to deal with exams as well as her then one day after school my grandfather just pulled up and took me to my auntys my mum had been beaten up by her boyfriend that was this summer I had to get a job to help out and my mum was a wreck constantly drinking and not eating I had to make her food and hide the booze i just started college and i get bullied I just keep to myself and try get along I have to get up at 6 and I am at college for 6:45 I have to sit outside my college and wait for it to open there are no other trains and it drives me mad I finish at 4 and get home for 7 due to the lack of trains to make me feel worse my girlfriend told me she isn't happy anymore and is thinking about leaving me I have no friends just her i know I'm 17 and having her for the rest of my life is stupid but I can feel my world crushing around me and I don't have anyone to talk to and don't know what to do I have been having bad thoughts and I don't know if I should act on them."
  • Denny (23/GM) asks, "23 year old gay dude here with a 21 year old boyfriend who wants to get circumcised—at 21 fucking years old. We met at a college party when we both got blackout drunk and woke up the next day not knowing what happened but that he definitely fucked me cause there was dried cum on my ass. Our first date was at an STD clinic and then a celebratory pizza dinner. We really bonded over this even though it was bad but made a pact to never let each other do anything stupid again. We fell in love, he moved in with me, and it's been almost three years. Woot! He's always been really into my cock cause it's 'textbook good' but also cause of the circumcising. He likes how it looks. I like how his foreskin looks. He has a beautiful cocks. We're two beautiful boys with gorgeous cocks and he wants to ruin it. Why he wants to go through so much pain I don't know but I have to stop him. He thinks it won't hurt that much cause babies get by no prob but that doesn't mean shit obviously. He can't use it for weeks too which affects me too. What if he regrets it? You can't get it back. I would know. Just what do I do to stop him?"
  • James (17/GM) asks, "I have a homophobic friend who knows I'm gay. He's my friend around other people but won't be around me when it's just me and him. If gay stuff comes up with our buddies he just goes silent or groans or says something homophobic. My friends are on my side and tell him to shut up so he doesn't do it a lot. Can he be one of those self-hating gays? What can I do to find out?"

Special Segment: Not this week!

Final Thoughts: Richard shares his favorite review of our podcast and Erica talks about Dump Cakes. Also, Darren shares a special number from his upcoming birthday show Recital: A Benefit For You.

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