The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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82: Sock It to Someone Else

October 6, 2015 at 9:15PM • 1 hour 21 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about accidental meth, co-ed quandaries, and frequent fingering! Want to ask a question on the show? Email [email protected] or call 323-456-3345 to leave us a voicemail.

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: Adam's loses part of his leg and Joshua from the Philippines invites him to join a dating site.

This Week's Questions:

  • Sock It to Someone Else (20/SM) asks, "You don't have to put this on your show if you think it's the wrong sort of question because it's about socks and I hate socks. They never fit my feet but not wearing them makes my feet sweaty and sticky. My shoes smell later and it takes a long time to get the smell out. My foot's an 8 most of the time and so when I buy socks I have to buy 8-12 sized socks. My feet are too small and there is extra sock everywhere and I have to adjust the sock all the time. I tried buying smaller socks but they bent my toes painfully so I gave them to my sister who made them into dollies. I can't win with socks. They never fit me and I am adjusting them all the time. I got kicked out of class two weeks ago because I wouldn't stop fixing my socks because they were so annoying and they weren't even fixable anyways but I can't pay attention to anything. My teacher got mad because I distracted the classmates. I had a girlfriend last year and she broke up with me. I asked her why because it was all good and she was like you complain about socks too much. I have some kinda problem obviously but what can I do about it?"
  • Anonymous (SM) asks, "I wanna know if my girlfriend is a crazy bitch. She get mad at me for complaining about Mexicans ruining America. No offence to Richard but I lost my job to a Mexican and so did my friend and my dad. I'm not saying Mexicans are bad or rapists like Mr. Trump but they take a heck of a lot of jobs and that's bad for the economy. That's just the truth. But she gets mad at me and won't accept reality. She wants to change me, not accept me for me. She says she's in love with me because I remind her of her dad so she won't leave me but wants to change me. Her dad is dead btw. Is she crazy should I get out of this?"
  • Jerome P. (37/SM) asks, "I am a single father and my 11-year-old daughter has asked me to buy her a bra. It is clear that none of you have children, but some of you are women and she (and I) lack a female mentor. I asked a barista who knows me what she thought. She shrugged and said she started wearing a bra at 13. My gut says she is just too young but my gut hasn't sat below a pair of tits."
  • Ariel (18/SM) asks, "Aloha Guys! My name is Ariel and I'm an 18 year old straight male freshman at university in upstate NY. I'm from NYC and went to an all boys high school there. Going from an all boy's high school to a college where the majority of the student body is female was a huge and interesting shift. Dunno how it happened to a nerd like me but within the first couple weeks of being here I somehow started dating this girl. She's extremely awesome in every way. In order to explain the problem I have to talk about my masturbation habits. Ever since I was 15 I have masturbated fairly regularly at least every other day. I don't really use lotion or anything like that. The thing with this girl is that she's very adventurous in bed and within the first couple of makeout sessions she started giving me handjobs. I love the sensation (huge shocker I know), but I can't really cum when she does that. I don't really know why. She gets a bit concerned because she thinks I'm not enjoying it, even though I am. How do I climax with this girl after all those years of masturbating alone? Lemme know if you need more info. Thanks Guys!"
  • Anonymous (17/BM) asks, "I am a 17 year old bisexual, my girlfriend is also bisexual just if you were wondering. I'm a big fan of your show and I have been exploring my sexuality for some time now, I have recently asked my girlfriend to finger me as I wanted to be more open with her. She doesn't mind fingering me but not everyday which I think is pretty reasonable however I feel like I want more...I want to know what it's like to be rimmed. I have brought it up once but the conversation just ended, I just want her to experiment with me I don't want to leave her as we have been best friends since we were 14 and only have been dating for a year and a half. My end goal would be her fucking me from behind and the occasional rim job. How can I get this end goal? (Not that it matters but I'm from England.)"
  • Gorma asks, "So this is like the dumbest thing ever in my entire life and I dunno what to do. My girlfriend Betsy got in a car accident and there was surgery pretty bad. She got some oxy and then some percocets but she healed up right quick so she didn't use them so much. I didn't even know anything about this but I guess her boyfriend was on drugs back in the historical days and told her she should get some ritalin and take it with the percocet. So like I dunno know anything about drugs but my little bro has ritalin so I took some and she brought the percocet and we both had some after lunch at school. I'm not gonna lie it was awesome but we were too giggly in math class so the teacher sent us into the hall to chill for a minute. I was so tingly and touchy the whole time and like jumpy also so I was rubbing Betsy's arms and we just were like laughing at each other. Like I laughed and then she laughed and then I laughed, like a laughing seesaw, and then I yelled 'I love math!' and then she did and we laughed a lot more. I dunno why we did that but I was so happy and I think it was like so my teacher would think we loved math and had respect for it, you know? I dunno who heard us but the douche ball told the vice principal and she came to find us and thought we were on meth. She had us drug tested and we got suspended for a month cuz the test said it was meth. So like I dunno what meth does but I know 100% you can't buy it from a doctor so I was NOT on meth! My parents think I got a drug problem and I'm grounded from seeing Betsy forever which is so unfair!!! I told them about the percocet but they don't believe me and don't trust me at all so like what am I supposed to do?"

Special Segment: Nothing! JEEZ!

Final Thoughts: Adam reviews the Fifi sex toy on YouTube.