The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

Got a question or comment? Visit awkwardhuman.com/ask for lots of options! Check out our Subreddit, too!

**NSFW**

Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.



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75: #Brohole

August 18, 2015 at 2:00AM • 1 hour 33 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about broholes, lengthy urethras, and a fun new way to masturbate! Want to ask a question on the show? Email questions@awkwardhuman.com or call 323-456-3345 to leave us a voicemail.

Buy our book, Bukkake, or Pixel Love Playing Cards! Bukkake is on sale this week, too!




Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: All about broholes and Adam's run in with an ex-friend.

This Week's Questions:

  • Dick Pick Dan / Brett (Comment) asks, "I stand and shake for as long as I can without being awkward about in (in public bathrooms). In bed at night it’s weird. It’s like when I roll over or move it…leaks. So I’m nervous if my husband reaches around and there’s a wet spot. Makes it difficult to ever sleep in the nude or go commando. It *kinda* helps if I sit down to pee and just chill there and relax for a bit afterwards. I read somewhere that if you push on your taint (I think this is considered the taint) and “push” the pee out at the same time, that will close it off. So, push just behind your balls and try to push out more pee. I’ve tried it and, meh, works for *right* after I’m done, but doesn’t completely solve it."
  • Andrew (Comment) asks, "Adam has mentioned a couple of times on the podcast that he has a “long urethra” and that he can rarely get all the pee out even though he shakes a lot, so it drips for awhile after. Last week, the rest of the gang seemed to think that was strange, or that it wasn’t really a thing, or that Adam needed to see a doctor about it. Well, Adam, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Same thing happens to me. We should start the long urethra club so that the world cannot ignore us any longer. The “more than three shakes means you’re playing with yourself” rule is discriminatory and people need to accept our diversity in public restrooms without thinking we’re pervs. We’re not, we just don’t want piss stains on our pants. I reckon they don’t want to see our piss stains either."
  • Rodrigo (Comment) asks, "Just dropping a few lines after listening to the last AHSG episode and regarding the question made by a guy who thought about dating Asian women instead of caucasian feminists. (BTW The mail I wrote got erased so Im writing this new one in a succint way). I listen to the podcast regularly and enjoy it, but was shocked by what I heard this time. A few things first: 1. I think Erica (or Erika?) said North America as "in the USA" but North America is NOT USA, it is Canada, USA and Mexico, and "America" is a continent, not a country (not that Erika said otherwise, just for the sake of getting that out there). 2. The guest claimed Government info is not Biased or Impartial. Really? (Gov. info is the most biased there is due to its purpose {in every country}) 3. Your tip was stated in a way that seemed pretty much as forcing him to go to a feminist lecture which would be as much as saying "you dont like cabbage? then we will force-feed you cabbage until you like it". You berated him in a way which was similar to the "fundamentalist (sic)" mindset the guest argued against, and in short, the whole argument was made as trying to make everyone support the feminist cause. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for men and women having pretty much the same rights, but the thing is that MOST WOMEN (notice the emphasis in MOST and not ALL) nowadays think in feminism as equality rather than equity (cfr. http://laradavid.blogspot.mx/2008/07/difference-between-equity-and-equality.html) and after reading the aforementioned link you'll see that while equality is impossible between men and women, equity is not and we should strive for that. (In Mexico for example, the labor law forbids an employer from forcing a female pregnant employee from lifting heavy stuff, which is A-OK, but equality would mean that women would lose such right as they would have the same rights as a male employer disregarding the pregnancy issue which if you ask me is plain nuts). So maybe, just maybe what the listener wanted to say was "I'm tired of feminist women trying to push their agenda while I'm just trying to go out on a date and don't get 'politics' mixed in between" and that's something we can all back right? I mean I have problems trying to apply to other countries for my PhD because of the "mexican stigma" (which Donald Trump has recently pushed) and discrimination, but that's not what I talk about with everyone, I mean we all have problems and maybe what he wanted was a "problem-free chat". Everyone has something to complain about, the thing is not to bother everyone with your complaints, we all have ahard time sometimes, either because of discrimination or for not being "tanned enough" (US citizens always tell me I can't be mexican since I'm white) but at the same time for not being born in "x" country, etc. but I digress, the thing is "we shouldn't be pushing our own agendas 24/7 or else we might seem unpleasant to other people" and maybe THAT is what this dude tried (and failed) to explain. Sorry for the long post (even though this was the short one), just making a suggestion for everyone to try being less "jumpy" next time you guys answer questions (since this time even I felt the answer to a poorly posed question was a bit aggressive) and consider the option that many of us don't have the ability to transmit our ideas in a clearer way."
  • Anonymous (40s/SF) asks, "Hello I have a feedback question. They are related. The man with the Alpaca in episode 74 may not be in the trouble he thinks he is in. He is in trouble with his marraige, no doubt, but perhaps he has a bored housewife who is bored with his sexual appetite and abilities. Like me. I got aroused listening to the double penetration interview and now I want to try it but my husband does not have two penises and I want two penises. One penis and a sex toy, like a dildo or vibrator, will not work. It's flesh or nothing for this lady. First, I am not sure how to present this to him. If I wanted him to spank me, perhaps, I would just say that. Double penetration requires a twofold disclosure: first that I want another man, second that I want both men at the same time. Perhaps I tell him in stages? Perhaps I tell him all at once? I don't know, and that is why we are conversing. My other question: where do I find the second penis? I wasn't in the boy scouts and do not have old friends who could fill that role/hole. Perhaps I must go online, but I feel insecure. How can I get two penises in my vagina without ruining my marriage?"
  • Erica (23/SF) asks, "Aloha. I am 23 and a lady. Last weekend I went to visit my boyfriend and to give a hand with his new apartment. His stepmother, father, and brother came, too. We ended up leaving to look at cars for his older brother. At the end of the day, when we were done with the cars, my boyfriend, his father, and I were standing outside. My boyfriend was busy on his phone and, I couldn't tell if it was on purpose or not, but it just felt like his father tried to touch my butt a little. He was laughing at something when he grabbed the inside of my arm. He grabbed it with force because he is kinda tall and strong. When he grabbed it, he came in really close and as he let go of my arm, I felt his hand slide down my waist and the side of my butt. I told my boyfriend and he got a little upset for a few minutes, then said his father would never do something like that. After that, he held me and told me it's okay. I apologized. Earlier that day, him and brother told me that their dad liked me and I caught him staring at me a few times. Am I overreacting?? Should I have kept this to myself??"
  • John (SM) asks, "The problem which I am facing is that I really want to have sex with my wife but my wife isn't allowing me to touch her. It's not that she don't love me any more but it's just that she doesn't like to have sex with me. So I am just confused why is she not wanting to have sex with me even though we love each other a lot. And we all know that we men have a lust for fulfilling our sexual desires so what should I do? If I force her to have sex, which I am not going to do in any case since it's a clear rape and I don't want to live my whole life behind bars. And on other hand if I fulfil my desires by watching porn then it will come in the context of cheating. And we love each other a lot so we cant live without each other. So what should I do?"

Special Segment: Interview with Scott K, creator of the Fifi (a new, innovative male sex toy)

Final Thoughts: Darren shares details about his visit to the International Banana Museum in Mecca, CA.

Related Links:

  • The Difference Between 'Equity' and 'Equality': Pay attention, folks, because this lesson is important. It's important for feminism, for humanity, for respect and tolerance. So read closely, because I don't get this fired up over nothing.