The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

Got a question or comment? Visit awkwardhuman.com/ask for lots of options! Check out our Subreddit, too!

**NSFW**

Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.



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71: Post-Coital Catatonia

July 21, 2015 at 7:00PM • 1 hour 27 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about herpes, arousal cream, and post-coital catatonia. Want to ask a question on the show? Email questions@awkwardhuman.com or call 323-456-3345 to leave us a voicemail.




Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: Brad deals with a judgmental roommate.

This Week's Questions:

  • Anonymous (SF/22) asks, "Hiya! I am in a great relationship with no problems. The man is amazing. I will fall in love with this man if we're together at Christmas. So far he is perfect and so I did the wrong thing and basically didn't tell him about herpes and that I have them. I've blown him a couple of times but I just don't let him go down there on me. I leave my underwear on all the way. We're a new couple so it isn't weird yet, but he's taking me to New Mexico for vacation and I need to tell him the truth because obviously we're gonna do it. I am between two ideas right now and I need your help to decide. First I was thinking of telling him while we're on vacation, like on the way to the hotel (btw we're staying at the nice Marriott!!!), but then I thought oh well then maybe he won't have sex with me and so maybe I should tell him right before he peels off my panties. I really don't know what to do. Normally I just guys if we might do it, but those are hookups or dates that I want to bone but don't care about seeing again. I didn't sleep with this guy because I almost love him already you know? Am I in big trouble now and it's my fault or is there something I can do? I really don't want to lose him and I know I will if I'm always lying about my vagina (and also he will want to do it soon so he'll be mad if I'm like no, I'm saving myself for later). What's a girl to do?"
  • Anonymous asks, "I'm sad and depressed and this isn't an awkward question but I think maybe I'm the awkward one. I think people don't want to be my friend based on basically everything that happens to me. Nobody hates me though. I'm kind of cool I think, but all my friends are always busy and just don't have time for me almost always. Nobody will hang with me or invite me to parties. I don't know what's wrong with me that they do this. I have been trying really hard to not make anyone angry at me or not like me but it doesn't work. I can do nothing or try but it doesn't matter because nobody likes me enough to be around me. What am I supposed to do?"
  • Aladdin (32/SM) asks, "Some backstory first: I'm a consultant. I travel more than I don't. Our firm doesn't ever send individuals. It's a company policy that cases are always broken in teams. It's how we work. Sometimes I'm paired with a woman you can call Jasmine--and use Aladdin for me, it was my favorite movie since I was 10. We like each other. We go out after work. It's a social job so this is normal but I get along with her the best out of the female consultants I work with. We have a kind of connection and we do great work together. Company policy allows any employee to request a single room during travel and opposite sex teams don't share by default. I don't know how they handle gay employees but that is neither here nor there. We tackle BIG cases and normally enough of us go that guys share rooms with other male teammates and the same goes for the females. Perhaps they want to discourage sexual activity between teammates or avoid sexual harassment problems, I don't know, but it doesn't work. You put horny young men and women in a hotel together as well as in a scenario where they end up drinking together after work each and every night...well you can understand how ineffective any measures can be in the face of drunk people who want sex. It would be a hell of a lot better to just hand out condoms, but that's not an effective strategy for a business and a nightmare for HR. The point is that sex happens. I don't partake, myself, but it requires an earth ton of self-control. Getting to the problem at hand...when on large teams, Jasmine requests to share the room with me. We've shared a few rooms and no sex, but I don't know if she wants me or not. She likes being with me and we get along but she hasn't made a move or said anything beyond general flirting. I am not getting a sex vibe most of the time but coworkers think I am being thick-headed. They think she likes me and the room situation is a massive pointer. The other thing is that she sleeps in her underwear and disrobes in front of me. She lets me watch like it's nothing. I sleep in a tank and sweats and I don't change in front of her. I change in the bathroom in private out of respect, but she definitely doesn't see it that way. I am not offended in the least that she changes in front of me. She's hot as shit and I enjoy watching her. I want to have sex with her. I hope that's clear. But is she trying to get me to make a move with this stuff or is she just like this? I don't know how to tell and I'm getting uncomfortable with the situation."
  • Michael (22/SM) asks, "It's a girlfriend problem. I fuck her and then she ignores me 100%. Like I cum and she's on her side and pretending to sleep or something instantly. She gets to cum too. I am not a selfish prick. I ask her what's up and she just lays there. It's like I fucked her until she's catatonic and then like in the morning she's fine. If we fuck in the afternoon which I try not to do anymore she just 'takes a nap' for a few hours. I love fucking her so I don't know what to do. She's 100% into it during the fucking and then 100% out of it after. Have you seen this happen before?"
  • Anonymous (25/GM) asks, "This is a lot to explain so sorry in advance for a confusing story and probably long message. I lost my sex drive because anti-depressents and after maybe four months my boyfriend was really frustrated. He's like I just want to fuck your ass and I'm like I'm sad. So I got off the anti-depressents but my sex drive didn't come back so I was more depressed. After three weeks I went online and found this 'arousal cream' that you spread around down there and it arouses you I guess. Well it doesn't. It didn't do anything but we fucked anyway and then I got this horrible rash the next day in the afternoon (so it was like more than a day is what I mean). I am writing you on day four of the rash. It is not going away. It looks like red spots and some look like pimples. I have googled lots of things that look like it and it could be herpes or like five things that are not herpes. I will go to the doctor about it and find out of course. So where I'm at is that we didn't have sex for awhile. I used arousal cream. I got a rash the next day. When you apply creams, from what I've experienced, you get a bad reaction in 30 minutes or less like pizza delivery. It doesn't happen the next day, but STDs can happen the next day. So did I do this to myself with the arousal cream or did he go fuck some other faggot, get herpes, and give me those herpes? Or is it coincidence? Please solve this mystery for me."
  • Janie (27/SF) asks, "Is there any good reason to not have sex until marriage? I am not a prude, but I am totally juiced by the thought of my pussy being kept like a prize so I haven't let guys in. I tell them I'm saving myself. I'm not religious so this is hard to explain to dates, and I'm getting older too. Is this silly?"

Special Segment: None

Final Thoughts: Our housecleaner may have intentionally replaced us with her sister.