The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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69: You Say Pecan, I Say Pee Can

July 7, 2015 at 7:45PM • 1 hour 28 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about farting in a relationship, masturbating with tampons, and cum rags—again. Also, an interview with Dodger's character and entertainment correspondent Evan Sean Burke. Want to ask a question on the show? Email [email protected] or call 323-456-3345 to leave us a voicemail.

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Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: We listen to chapter two of Erica's hemorrhoid of horror: the blood marble hanging from her sphincter. Also, Adam watches the entire LA Police and Fire Departments descend on the fashion district while yelling at the government for canceling his insurance again.

This Week's Questions:

  • Brett AKA "Dick Pic Dan" (Voicemail, Update) asks, "Dan tells us about his experience with Tallywackers, the male version of Hooters in Texas."
  • Anonymous (22/GM) asks, "I'm 22, gay, partnered, and anonymous. You can call me Tampon Tom if you need to. After Erica's vivid description of her hemorrhoid, I had a sobering thought: am I doing damage to my sphincter or other parts of my butt by masturbating with a tampon in my ass? This started months ago when my mom came to visit. She was on her period and we went to the store to get her tampons. There were leftovers and she forgot to take them with her. I got drunk one night with my boyfriend, we both wondered what it felt like, and so we lubed each other up and stuck them in our asses while jerking each other off. We liked it and now it's how I usually masturbate. It's disposable and easy to use. It even has a string for pulling it out when you're done. What more could you ask for in an anal sex toy? I don't think there's anything out there like it. Until last week's show, I thought I'd discovered gold. Now I'm wondering if I'm going to wake up one day bleeding out my ass because I committed a mortal sin of tampon use. I'm half joking but is there any danger here? I know this isn't an advice question, but you have doctors on the show sometimes and know a lot about butts so I thought I'd ask anyway."
  • Gas Buddy asks, "Can you guys talk about farting in a relationship? When's it okay and not okay? Is it better, worse, or the same when a guy or girl does it? Do gay guys think differently about farts than straight guys? What about straight and lesbian girls? I just want to know when and when not to fart, and if I can't why!!"
  • Nona (37/SF) asks, "I was googling around and found your show about cum rags. My husband has turned me into one. Perhaps you can help. It started off as a 'sexy joke' when I jokingly told him it'd be hot if I woke up to him cumming on my face. Fast forward a few weeks and it happened. I loved it, seeing him stroking his dick and getting off all over my face. Now it's quite the opposite. He looks at porn on his laptop, then carries everything in the bedroom to unload on my face like a wake up call, puts it all away (read: his dick and his laptop), and then he's off to work. It all went from being hot to not hot and I don't know what to tell him. I don't want to be 'the bitch' in this situation because it's something I suggested. I also don't want to feel like he's using me as a trash bin for his spooge. Please give me some advice on how I can approach this without being a bitch."

Special Segment: Interview with Dodger character (not mascot!) and entertainment correspondent Evan Sean Burke.

Final Thoughts: What happens if a retarded person rapes someone?