The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.



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50: Hassids and Hipsters: A Love Story

February 23, 2015 at 11:00PM • 1 hour 9 minutes • Wiki Entry

This week on Awkward we're talking about a jealous or bisexual girlfriend, a gay man living with his ex, and a poor, unfortunate fish. Want to ask a question on the show? Email questions@awkwardhuman.com or call 323-456-3345 to leave us a voicemail.

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Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: There's a Brooklyn-based group that's trying to get Hassidic Jews and hipsters to live in harmony together.

This Week's Questions:

  • Alison (SF/25) asks, "I am 25. I have been with my boyfriend for two years now. My best friend and I have been roommates for 6 years. We studied in the same college, so all three of us are pretty close. They were two of my greatest strengths before this incident and are two of the nicest people I know. But I don't know if I can ever trust them again. My bf and I had been having some trouble for a few weeks. Three weeks back, we (the three of us) had to go to a friend's place for a party. We had some time before that so we decided to grab some drinks. I got into a heated argument with him about something. Both of us were really mean to each other. Just then his brother called and he went to talk to him. We went to our friend's party. There, my roommate came to me crying and told me that my bf's brother had called her up telling her that my bf was about to break up with me. She told me that I should talk to him and that we are meant to be together. I was angry and didn't react. She kept crying and the intensity increased with the number of drinks she had. She took my bf to a corner and kept pleading with him not to break up and to try to make things work. He was crying as well and I could hear him say things like "No one is satisfied with me" and "I want to move out of this city". I slept after this. The next morning he broke up with me. I decided to move back to my hometown. He found out and came to visit me the very next day. He cried and apologized and asked me to stay. I agreed. Yesterday, I found out that he had kissed my roommate that night at our friend's place. Neither of them told me. Someone else did (they had both gone to this friend to dump their emotional baggage and guilt). He says it was "just a peck on her lips" and that "it meant nothing" and that "it wasn't even for a second". He says he didn't tell me as he didn't want to lose me. He also says it was entirely his mistake and my roomie should not be blamed. He says he loves me with everything. She says the same. They both are genuinely sorry. What should I do? Is this forgivable? She is like a sister to me and has ALWAYS been there for me. He is (rather was) one of the very few people in this world I respect a lot and I love him more than anything else in this world."
  • Jon (24/GM) asks, "I’m a 24 year old gay man living with his ex. I know, I’m an idiot. But we dated over two years ago and although we have had our rough patches, we remained friends. However, one of those years I lived in Italy. We kept in touch and started toying with the idea of having sex when I get back. Of course it was fun and hot to exchange pictures and ideas, so I went along with it. Then the day arrived when I came back to the US and yes, we ended up fucking. When I needed a place to move he offered up the idea of living together. I thought, sure, why not. It was great at first, obviously because the sex. But then he started dating a guy. And lied to me about it at first and then found out, but that’s a whole other story. To cut this long ass story short, we’ve continued to fuck to this day. He’s been dating this guy since October. In January I made him tell his boyfriend but he wouldn’t listen. He forgave him and said they were going to move on. About that.....I know that I’m not 100% innocent here, but I feel so bad for the boyfriend. Should I tell him? Or leave it be? If I do, I know it will destroy our friendship. Any advice would help. Yeah, it’s that fucked up. Let’s call my ex David and his current boyfriend Jim. I don’t know if they have ever discussed an open relationship. However, I do know that David says he is 'so against cheating.' But that obviously isn’t the case. I’ve only met Jim once when he was at our place for about 5 minutes. I think he knows it’s me and refuses to come over. I also just found out this weekend that David has been sexting and sending dirty snaps to other guys. Which leaves me to believe he’s gone mega-slut. And yes, I have an appointment to get tested now."
  • Kurt (SM) asks, "Back when I was going through puberty and jacking off was new, I went on chatrooms to get info about it. I don't know who told me to, or if they were some perverted person, but they said to lube up a toilet paper tube and fuck it with all the toilet paper on. So I did, and it felt good, so I kept doing it. Now I am older and you can see how that has not worked well for me in life. I can still cum if I jack off in a normal way but I don't enjoy it really. I know this is weird and it is also very wasteful because I have to throw away all that toilet paper. It's not just the lube but it gets shredded in the process kind of. It also makes sex with a woman uncomfortable because she feels like a person and not like cardboard. It's so fucked up. I get sad when I think about it and sometimes I cry after jacking off either way. I know I need to stop but I don't know how. (Just FYI it's not like I do this every day.)"
  • Sammy (SF/22) asks, "I just graduated from Wash U with my boyfriend (you can call him Horace because that's nobody's name ever) and we got an apartment together. I don't know if you know yet but they made pot legal recently, so we got some and got really high to celebrate. We don't get high a lot and so there's a low tolerance there. Horace has a fish. Actually he had a fish, which is the problem. While we were high I dared him to eat the fish and he said if I put it in his mouth he'd eat. So I took the fish out of his or her bowl (I don't know how you know what a fish is but he thinks it's a girl for some reason) and made him open his mouth. He was saying "no don't" but laughing and so I thought he was joking so I just dropped it in and he tried to spit it out. That didn't work or something and it went down and he almost choked and then he swallowed it. So Horace really loved that fish. He named 'her' Dottie Kamenshek after the baseball player and he really respects her. It was just a goldfish but he really loved it. When we woke up the next day he thought he imagined it and then he saw the empty tank and freaked. He was so sad and cried on me and then got mad at me because I made him do it and he's been a mess since then. We just moved in and now what if he wants to move out. I didn't mean to make him eat his fish. He also did it, too. It wasn't just me or my fault. I don't know what to do, though, so let me have it."
  • Ian (SM/25) asks, "When my GF and I are out, she likes to point out other girls and ask me if I am attracted to them. I just tell her I don't know usually, or sometimes I will say sure and shrug. It feels like a trap, like she is going to complain. She hasn't complained yet. I am trying to conclude if it is a trap or if she is bisexual and wants to invite another woman into our bedroom. I'm okay with that, but I am not okay with being harassed just because I find another woman sexy. What can I do to get to the bottom of this without causing waves? I don't think she will want me to ask her about being bisexual because she hasn't said she is."

Special Segment: Interview with stylest to the stars, Hannah Schneider.

Final Thoughts: Poketo is holding a $150 spoon carving workshop.