The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

Got a question or comment? Visit for lots of options! Check out our Subreddit, too!

If you love the show, please help us keep making them! (This does not require a financial contribution.)


Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

← Previous Episode   |   Next Episode →

44: Daddy's Little Hot Pocket

January 13, 2015 at 1:45AM • 1 hour 16 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about girls playing games, sex at Starbucks, and an overprotective father.

By the way! If you wanted to see Rob's special Christmas ornament mentioned on our holiday episode, check it out here.

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: Rachel calls in with Allison's weird holiday story we forgot to play weeks ago.

This Week's Questions:

  • Eric asks, "I want to preface this email by stating this is not a very important issue, but I do want a solution. My girlfriend insists on never getting generic medication, to the effect of wasting hundreds of dollars. She will never buy Naproxen, it always has to be Aleve (as if there's a difference). When she gets prescriptions they cost $15 for the generic but she'll pay upwards of $85 for the original. When I ask her why she tells me she trusts the company that came up with it and not some knock-off. She tells me it's like buying an Insignia TV at Best Buy instead of a Sony. Except it's not like that because generics are the same goddamn thing. Is there any convincing her? If she had millions I'd let it go, but we live together and she always complains about how poor she is, and she'd be a little less poor if she listened to me."
  • Beth asks, "A friend of mine got married to his wife and they were seeming really in love. They were together for over a year before marriage, which I guess is short but they lived together for most of the time. Three months after they got married he started to tell me his life is meaningless and he wants to die and I asked why and he said ‘I got to know my wife.’ I want to help my friend but I don’t know what to do with this information."
  • Quinoa (17/SF) asks, "A few things before I begin: 1) Aloha. 2) Please don't make fun of my name, it's not my fault. I just believe in honesty and accountability so I am not hiding who I am. 3) Please try not to read into this situation too much. It's not what you probably think it sounds like. Okay. My father and I have a very close relationship. My mom left us when I was four, I've never known her, and so he's very (over)protective of me. I love him and I know he means well but he caught me flirting with a boy in my class (I'm 17 and about to graduate high school) and now he's trying to find me guys to date. It's so better than getting my virginity locked up in a room. Sooo glad that's not him, but I don't want to date these boys. They have things similar to my dad, like interests and sometimes looks a little. I don't know if I'm imagining it or what, it just feels like it. Yeah, so I just want to date on my own but he doesn't get that. He gets offended. Questions: 1) How do I explain to him that he needs to stop? 2) Should I go on these dates at all? 3) I am going to college out of state so does any of this even matter?"
  • Anonymous asks, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how gross is it to have sex in a Starbucks bathroom? I’m in a work relationship with another barista and we live far from each other and we’re poor. We can’t have sex in a car because neither of us own one, and it’s also not as private. This is one of our only options. How would you rate the badness of this idea and why?"
  • Anonymous (M) asks, "Sorry this is so long but I’m so confused! I probably should’ve wrote in earlier with this one seeing that it’s not likely I’ll hear back in time to act on any advice you guys are able to give, but I’m really curious to hear what you all think regardless of when we hear your answers. I started talking to this girl a few months back who happened to be in nearly every one of my classes, and I thought we’d hit it off quite well. It didn’t take long for me to figure out that it was clear that we were interested in each other. You know, the typical things like when they laugh at your “jokes” even though you weren’t really joking, or when they just seem really interested in your life and what’s going on with you. I also noticed she acted differently around me than others. After about a month of this, I asked her if she’d go with me to the formal our school is hosting (which is actually next week). She seemed super excited to go, and even went on a really long walk with me to buy the tickets even though I told her I’d buy her one too (which I did). On the way, she said some some things like “this should be really fun!” and “ooh, maybe we could get ourselves a little table, you know?” when clearly there are no tables for two at events like these things. I’m not sure how to explain her behaviour in any other way besides flirting. Shortly after this point, even though final exams were less than a week away, I suggested her and I should go out outside of school to “get to know each other” a little better before we go to the formal. She also seemed to like the idea, but we mutually agreed it would be best to do this after finals were over – which would mean about a month without seeing each other. Things started getting strange over the holiday break after finals were over, when my text messages, which only wished her merry christmas, a happy new year, and asked her how her holidays were going, went completely unanswered. Then when school started again at the beginning of this week, I noticed her sitting in a lecture hall a few rows ahead of me using iMessage on her Macbook. Messages notifications were coming in like crazy, so I figured that if I sent her a message then and there I could know for sure if she was ignoring me or not. I sent a message “Hey, turn around!” (we did this to each other all the time so it shouldn’t be creepy) and low and behold, nothing came in on her screen. There I was trying to slide into da DMs real sly but I never even got there. On my screen it said the message delivered, so I’ve all but 100% confirmed she’s blocked me at this point. I casually walked up to her after class, we briefly engaged in small talk about how our holidays went, and she seemed cheerful as always, but in a less authentic way this time around. I asked her “By the way, are we still on for next Friday (the formal)?” and she was all “Oh, right!!! Yeah, I don’t know we have to talk about that” We left it off agreeing she would text me to let me know for sure if she could make it. She said she would text me “for sure!” I’ve lost pretty much all interest in this girl at this point so I’m not necessarily asking how to win her over, but all I can say is, what the hell happened? Did I do something wrong? Or maybe did she hook up with ex-bae over the holidays and now she’s not sure what to do? I spent $80 on those tickets, you’d think she’d at least have the decency to apologize and say she isn’t interested and give me my ticket back rather than playing games like this. Why she gotta be so snake"

Special Segment: None, but we've got new interviews coming soon! Email us if you have ideas for future interviews or segments you want to hear.

Final Thought: What's the polite way of asking why your food hasn't arrived at a restaurant?

Related Links:

  • What's the Difference Between Pain Relievers? Should I Buy Generic?: Every time I go to the pharmacy, I'm confused. What's the difference between something like Tylenol and Advil? When should I use each one? What about sleep aids or cough medicines? Are generics okay, or should I spring for the brand name instead?
  • Stop Wasting Money: Buy the Identical, Cheaper Versions of Big Brands: One secret of store brands—or "private label" brands with seemingly bargain quality—is that they're often made by the same companies that manufacturer big name products. So instead of paying twice as much for the same (or very similar) product, buy the just-as-good carbon copies. Here's a look at some of the many products you can save a ton of money on.
  • What Should I Always Buy Generic?: Your article on brand loyalty got me thinking: I spend a lot of money on brand name stuff all the time, with no real reason behind it. I'd like to save some money and buy generic brands, but I'm not sure which items I'll actually lose quality on. Are there any products I should just always buy generic?