The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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232: Adjustable Orgasms

January 6, 2019 at 5:00PM • 1 hour 8 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about gender mathematics, adjustable orgasms, and improving social anxiety with special guest Sarah Klegman!

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Story Time:

Special guests: Sarah Klegman 


Anonymous: "My girl has got social anxiety real bad. She goes out but she won't talk or nothing. She talks all the time at home. I love her. She's great. Can we get over this tho?"

James K.: "hey i need help with this transgender stuff bc i dont get it. if imma man and she was a man and we date is that homo or hetero? in my mind, 2 dicks = gay. if she chops the dick off and buys tits its not gay based on the math but she still has a dude body but it got changed. is it the hormones? i know its like in their heads like i know im a guy and i like chicks bc my brain says i do. so the male to female is a female in her brain that got stuck in the wrong body. i got that. but i gotta do the body and the body is/was a dude. i don't get the math on that. how does it add up? is it homo or hetero? what is man? what is woman? im mindfucked dudes. fuck im baked as shit. thx"

Amanda: "Dear Awkward Human Podcast,

Last year I dated this Aussie (Oliver) who had this crazy bed. I know it was a Revita Life and I think it was the cloud one. It's like the beds made for the elderly because they're picky sleepers and need to be in specific positions.. His grandpa got one before dying, then he died, and he left Oliver the bed. Oliver didn't mention this was his dead grandpa's bed before we started fucking on it. That happened six months into our relationship and is kinda why I broke up with him. I would find out so much stuff he never told me about because he got into some situation where he couldn't hide it any longer. With the mattress it was when I felt something funny one time and after checking it out we found $1800 sewn into the mattress. He gave me half so I forgave him that time (and since it was just awkward not bad) but there were much worse things like goddamned chlamydia.

I stayed single for maybe 6 months after I dumped Oliver and met Ashleigh. I'm bi but mostly date men not because I like them more but because I'm shy about people I like. I need to get over that someday but that's not why I'm writing you. Ashleigh thinks I'm not really bi and just had a bad relationship so I dated her. Why? Because I can't cum with her. I also can't cum with myself. I never was any good at that so I didn't think it was weird when I was single that masturbating didn't do it for me. Being with Oliver for awhile got me used to fucking on his Revita Life mattress. He could put me in the best positions and it was always comfortable even if it probably didn't look that way. But the bed vibrated and I think my body got used to it. I bought a vibrating massage pillow and put it under my ass while she ate me out but it was just really uncomfortable.

Those beds cost so much they don't even put the price on the website. Do you know some way I can cum again? Help me cum again please!