The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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210: Building a Mystery

May 20, 2018 at 5:00PM • 1 hour 7 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about Richard's Threat, Erica for Sale, Blanket Reviews, Uncomfortable Hoarding Discoveries, and Drippy Penises with special guest Michael Cobian!

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward storytime: People call Adam "Buddy." Adam's car changes mysteriously: was it an earthquake, a robbery, or something else entirely?

Special guest: Michael Cobian 


Kevin U.: "Just wanted to reach out again regarding the reviews. I know you're extremely busy!

Look forward to hearing or you. Thanks again. - Kevin"

Oliver: "I wanted to let you know I heard Richard’s threat and have rated the podcast and I thought you’d actually find it interesting that I found the podcast because I read an old Lifehacker how we work article of Adam’s and he mentioned his boyfriend and I was like “oh wow, he’s a homo” so I googled him and found out he looked really cute and then found this podcast and I’m so glad I did.

Thanks, Oliver"

Oliver: "I’m addition to my last message I just wanted to say that 1. I can’t find Erica in the store (although I’m on the other side of the world so not buying her!) and 2. I love that two of the levels you can buy are 8.2 and 11 in reference to the WiFi standards! I hope I’m not the only one to get that"

Dan: "hi there coworkers, its your new pal dan. you dont know me but ive been hearing the show for years and i love it. lucky for you i had an awkward moment and need some help.

okay well my grandma and grandpa are hoarders and im a college student (19 and bi but it doesnt matter does it?) so my mom pseudo hired me to declutter their house. my mom gets in fights with them over it a lot but they love their little danny so i got signed up at the family discount rate.

anywho im finding some weird shit as ive been going through their stuff to convince them to get rid of it. i have to say stuff like this ladder could help the boyscouts or i could turn this box of paintchips into confetti for my party next week. and i dont have a party next week. i just gotta come up with anything so they think their useless shit is going somewhere.

that makes this next part majorly weird cause its like this hoarding is about caring that everything has a home and helps somebody. but where do i begin? first there were the boxes of retired underpants. get this-they never threw away underpants. they just boxed em up like a mass panty grave and buried them in their crazy huge basement. second is a broken ladder that they think they are going to fix but its been almost 30 years and no fix. third is the really awkward thing because apparently my grandpa used to be a homoerotic photographer and nobody knew. so im just going through all this crap and find a file cabinet with negatives and postcards of oiled up muscle guys from the 30s or 40s. i mean i dunno but whenever instagram filters were just called photography. also i think some of them are of my grandpa which is more weird because i found him attractive and then saw the similar face business later. ew.

1- what do i say to them to get them to let go of the underpants?

2- how is a broken ladder useful?

3- how do i talk to grandpa about his gay pictures?

please help!
your remote bff dan"

Anonymous: "Hey. Just letting you know you don’t need to include the penis part of this on the show, that’s more for Adam’s information. I just wanted to let you know about my leaky penis because Adam likes to talk about his.

I am like Adam where I drip a bit after I pee. I actually saw a urologist and he explained that’s it’s the sphincters of the urethra not closing in the correct order. Usually the top sphincter closes and the pee drains out and then the bottom one closest to the opening closes. In my case (and I assume Adam’s) the bottom one closes while there’s still pee behind it and then the top one closes like normal and later the bottom one opens and that’s when you leak! I also mentioned this to my dad after seeing the urologist and he said he has the same, we both have ADHD and he reckoned it could be something to do with that because Adam seems like he has ADHD."