The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

Got a question or comment? Visit awkwardhuman.com/ask for lots of options! Check out our Subreddit, too!

**NSFW**

Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.



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189: Oops, I Peed in Your Mouth!

November 12, 2017 at 5:00PM • 1 hour 7 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about not-boyfriends, stress therapy, and cum pee. Questions/stories/comments/whatevers? Call/text 509-AWKWARD or visit awkward.email!

Hi!




Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: A sad old man tries to hook up with Richard but then decides Richard's too much of a douche.

This Week's Questions:

  • Nobar George Beill asks, "Hello, I'm a nobar George beill. I was born in 1966 in Georgia, in the city of Tbilisi. I'm very sorry for the English, I'm hanging up with childhood far from the family, and I was forcibly taught Germanic by the place of the English language. live in Tbilisi, I have a wife and a daughter, I work for another specialty. Stiebi will provide for myself for food. I'm a musician by profession.but I want to serially talk with you serially. I'm fooling physics, and I really think about it a lot, and I look at some kind of thing in my life quite differently.for example, as a helper, we'll forgive the luds, shtob a little to alleviate the daily torment and suffering. Because I myself had a hard childhood, and I know how much it means for a common man, although there is something in which taabegchit lives.for example, in 2010, I was in such a situation, and the house was sold, the hypothecaries, and May the seed and I stayed without a house. We rent an apartment, we make a lot of money every month, and we have to get this money.40% of the world's population is in this state, this is bad for ill people. But people need help, but there is no one to forgive people, and this contradicts the order. Because of such consequences in our world, there will never be peace.When people need an elemental daily and need it, and the reason for all conflicts and the warrior. Because of this, I have long to sit in the mews one of several things, it's time to create the Catholic one. so as to alleviate the daily and life-threatening lives for people.I can create a installation of the caterers will be able to see the fastened electricity, I loved it from the childhood, I'm engaged with the electricity, I respect the poems of the brilliant Nicholas Tesla.I do not realize the idea of one to me alone, I already have almost 52. and I will not soon be betrayed in the world by the eagle, that's why I contacted you, and to tell you what to do. If you are interested in this, you can contact me, and in the place to discuss the further. I can explain the matter in more detail.their phone number is in vain I'll write. because I do not know English. I know Russian well, despite this, I'm someone else's Georgian. I was forced to do it in a child's room. I was read by my letter, and attentively treated to the meeting. best regards again.George beill.

    We asked Articoolo (AI) to write a comparable response: "Every day, 000 individuals, 10 enter New York's Grand Central Terminal without the intention of catching a train. They come to slurp bivalves in the Campbell Apartment in the Oyster Bar or cocktails. They gawk at the ceiling embellished browse stores, with constellations, and take tours. It's sufficient to produce the among the top 5 most visited attractions of America. Location, of course, plays a role, and lots of the attractions are found such as Seattle, San Francisco, California, and NY. Whilst the National Sept 11 Memorial had an impressive 4.5 million visitors during its 1st year, has been damaged from Central Park with 100 times the region. For every traveler drawn to the city, there. With size and its availability, Great Smoky Mountains National Park is a natural option for millions more than 9 million. 16 most visited attraction in the country. The white tailed deer, black bears, and foliage of the Great Smokies and the recognition of Disney cannot compete among Americans and worldwide visitors, five theme parks made it. To ascertain these positions, we accumulated the latest information provided by the attractions or from media outlets, business reports, and government agencies. Read on to find out which attraction for tourist claimed the No. 1 spot with more than 41.9 million visitors in the year 2011. The Methodology: Our definition of attractions for tourist included natural, cultural, and historic sites as well as recognized regions of limited geographical scope like the Las Vegas Strip.""
  • Jamie (21/BF) asks, "(You may remember Jamie from episode #173.) Aloha again! This is a story about an incident involving myself and my ex boyfriend Connor. So, Connor and I were getting busy in the bedroom and I start giving him a blow job. So he is finally going to cum (it took him a while and for the record I swallow)... and so he is cumming and I notice as this is happening that it was not sperm... I back up and cover my mouth and kind of ask (With my mouth fairly full) "You didn't!" I ran to the bathroom to spit it out realising that this was his urine... when I come back after mouth washing and brushing my teeth 5 times and ask him how the hell that happened. He claims that he got the feelings mixed up... So I have asked a few others my age about this and they say that it the feeling cannot be mixed up. What do you guys think? Do you think he was secretly into it? Or it getting the feeling of cumming and peeing mixed up an actual thing? Thank you for your answers to my last story! Very amusing to listen to! Thanks Jamie P.S. I sent this a while back but I sent it to the wrong email address I think. Still not quite up to date on the show but on 140s now. Also you guys are amazing. Keep being awesome!"
  • Hannah (F) asks, "New listener. Started with the oldest podcast available on Stitcher. Occasionally pop forward to your current episodes. My job right now has a lot of boring data-entry time, which is why I need your hilarity, even your year-old hilarity. And insights. You all are so awkward and so semi-offensive, but at the same time so spot on and woke. I try not use the word woke because I'm white, but I'm not sure how else to say it. Aware? Intersectional? Awesome? Yeah. I do have a question. My not-boyfriend just left for a month-long trip in China. He and I live together, as housemates with two other people. There recently has been some drama. For the last two months we were totally on the outs, not hanging out and I put up a lot of boundaries because he hurt me a lot. But, this recent drama in our house, sparked the dating conversation to reignite. We decided to take a break from that convo while he is away. My good friends think I should go on some dates while he's gone. Other good friends think I'm crazy and need to move the fuck out already. So my question is, as the very zany and queer people that you are, do you have any suggestions for continuing to live with my non-bf (who maybe is queer? exploring that) and our two straight roommates, amongst our relatively straight community of friends. Is it just me or is it very queer to have this sort of half relationship, that develops into a real relationship, or to just have a relationship that doesn't have what other's see as normal and healthy parameters? Or, maybe it IS an unhealthy relationship. Idk y'all idk. Please, give me your thoughts."

Special Segment: OOPS! The movie Stewart made that Roger Ebert hated was Tru Loved, not Coffee Date

Final Thoughts: Sometimes when I'm fingering my pussy, I pretend my clitoris is a small person inside of me that I'm tickling. So she starts laughing, which makes me laugh, and before I know it the entire church choir is laughing. Isn't the human imagination special?