The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

Got a question or comment? Visit awkwardhuman.com/ask for lots of options! Check out our Subreddit, too!

**NSFW**

Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.



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The Anal Book of Mormon

175: The Anal Book of Mormon

July 30, 2017 at 3:30PM • 1 hour 7 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about gun ownership, cake-based communication, anal for ladies, and the Book of Mormon! Questions/comments/stories/whatevers? Visit awkward.email or call/text 509-AWKWARD! Special guests: Jeffrey Jay (Comedian) and AJ Jackson (Saint Motel).




Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: AJ calls the police on himself.

This Week's Questions:

  • Anonymous (Voicemail) asks, "Some kid butt-dailed our web site? (Listen)"
  • Anonymous (Voicemail) asks, "Some anal sex tips for women! (Listen)"
  • Anonymous (Text from Washington State) asks, "I stand behind you in line at the store with a smile on my face...and a gun under my shirt and you are none the wiser, yet you are safer for having me next to you. I won't shoot you. My gun won't pull it's own trigger. It is securely holstered with the trigger covered. It can't just go off. However, rest assured that if a lunatic walks into the grocery store and pulls out a rifle, I will draw my pistol and protect myself and my family and therefore protect you and your family. I may get shot before I can pull the trigger...but, I won't die in a helpless blubbering heap on the floor begging for my life. No, if I die it will be in a pile of spent shell casings. I won't be that victim. I choose not to be. As for you, I don't ask you to carry a gun. If you are not comfortable, then please don't. But I would like to keep my right to choose to not be a helpless victim. There is evil in the world and if evil has a gun, I want one too..."
  • Téo asks, "Hello! Meu name is Téo and I love AH. My question is: if I make someone a chocolate cake, does it delivery the message 'I luv u?' Because I baked a cake for my bro Sam and he really means a Lot for me, but I can't say 'hey, Man, you mean a Lot.' Thanks you!"
  • Veronica (F/Nearly an Adult) asks, "About two months ago, I decided to order a free Book of Mormon on Mormon.org . When ordering I did not realize that the book would be delivered by missionaries. Ever since then I have been texted almost every day by them, asking for me to arrange a visit with them. I have told them to leave me alone (nicely) but they are extremely persistent in attempting to convert me. How do I get them to fuck off?? -Veronica, nearly an adult For the awkward human survival guide podcast"
  • Evan (23/F) asks, "My parents haven't been together since I can remember. Growing up this was hard on me. I lived with my mom, and would tell her that I didn't want her to date anyone. This response is normal for a young child I think, as she was my world and I was afraid for that to change, and she respected that. I am now all grown up and as far as I can tell shes not dating anyone, and isn't trying to get back out there. I want to encourage her because I can tell she is lonely. I've even considered asking her to come out to bars with me, but I figured she might feel weird about having he 23 year old daughter as her wing woman. How should I approach this situation/conversation to help her 'get back out there?'"
  • Kary (21/SF) asks, "Hello, I am a straight female, 21 and I have had a boyfriend now for over 2 years. We are both super catholic in that we both follow (or try to) all the teachings and believe in everything the church teaches, meaning we try to not have sex but we have done a lot of stuff like oral, anal and even sex but not to the point of orgasm. I feel like I've had a much more sexually repressive life growing up than my boyfriend and I have a lot of really crazy fantasies that I would never be able to tell him I want. I've brought things up like threesomes and swinging but he immediately says those things are "disgusting" and the conversation ends. But he's never known that I myself would be open to those things. In addition over the years I've found that I am attracted to women sexually but its not a door I really want to open because I'm catholic and its simply not possible because of my family and boyfriend and the church I go to etc. I do not have anything against the LGBTQA community, I just know that its not a possibility to ever be able to tell anyone in my life that I feel this way. Please help, if you have any advice, will I end up sexually unhappy if I ever marry this guy? ALSO he's never given me an orgasm, even after trying many times, I don't know if its because I just can't get turned on enough"

Special Segment: Axxe Body Spray Vitamins

Final Thoughts: Hi :)

Related Links:

  • I don't know if I'm Asexual?: Cassiemaybe: "Hi. I'm a 22 year old woman who for most of those 22 years believed I was straight, but now I'm not so sure. I like men, have always liked men, have had multiple male crushes over the years, and generally find them very attractive, but I'm not sure it's sexual attraction."
  • How to Tell If You Are Asexual: "The following excerpts are from the upcoming book The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker, out September 2014. Decker recounts her struggles as a member of the asexual community, a misunderstood and often denounced group."