The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

Got a question or comment? Visit awkwardhuman.com/ask for lots of options! Check out our Subreddit, too!

**NSFW**

Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.



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The Vagina People

171: The Vagina People

June 29, 2017 at 11:45PM • 1 hour 2 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about piss jars, slut cups, and the complex tango of courtship. Questions/comments/stories/whatevers? Call/text 509-AWKWARD or visit awkward.email for all your options!

Special Guests: Fran and Mac!




Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: Fran gets shy at a strip club.

This Week's Questions:

  • Chaylea ([Y]F) asks, "That was an awesome episode! Man, I laughed so hard. Also I purchased your game and I am excited to play it with my family. You aced the pronunciation, by the way. :) !"
  • Bambi (29/SF) asks, "Hey all (: I was so excited to hear you all answer my question on the podcast! And I think I'll do what you suggested and just do it as I think I would rather it be a flop as apposed to looking back one day thinking I should of tried, I'll do the suggestion of doing something I'd like whether or not people turn up that way it'll still be enjoyable & I'm thinking that the occasions I turned down invites maybe everyone got to drunk they wouldn't really know if I did go or not for sure (being a small mining town there is a very big drinking culture) I'll think of something fun theme wise, i'll pass on the coal fuck party tho haha!. I probably do need therapy too for my anxiety lol that is actually true, & I wasn't worried if you said my name, my nickname has always been Ambi/Bambi i just thought it'd be cool to use. I wish I was on twitter to help with your hacking campaign i look forward to hearing about it's resolution! Very terrible and unfair for you all! Lots of love Amber."
  • Mattheyous asks, "Here's the stuff you asked me for. (We put the links Mattheyous provided in the links section of the show notes.) Apparently they only do the recycling in the UK. If you're in the US the used toys just gets disposed of."
  • Marva (20/SF) asks, "Aloha my dears, lemme just get to the point. I love my boyfriend so I got past that he saves his piss in jars when he trusted me with this info. I was just like okay but why? He gave all these reasons like for drugs tests some day or if we have a water shortage. I was like no I'm not drinking nobody's piss even if it goes in a britta and he was laughin at me cause it's got to be in some piss machine or whatever. So I was like fine cause it's just in a fridge in a closet downstairs and it's his place. We're not cohabitating or nothing but I can deal with the fridge. He just started sleeping with a jar of hot piss tho so now I think I got my-self with a crazy motha fucka. It's just like that I can smell it. It goes in a glass jar. He thinks if we got a robber he can throw it like a weapon but peaceful and I'm like no bitch that shit's glass it's still gonna hurt!! So I don't know if he's fuckin with me or if this is some real survival bullshit and he gone too far. But like he's normal outside of this piss shit. It's just like other boy scout stuff that's not bonkers."
  • Anonymous (?) asks, "Originally, when we’d go and hang out it’d be easy-flowing. As of lately, we’ve been nervous around each other. I know I like them but IDK if they feel the same way. They’ve said some suggestive talk & I’d unexpectedly reject them. Are they trying to gain my attention because they’re into me? Why do I feel nervous when with them if they don't know how I feel?"
  • Slut Cup asks, "awkward humans, what makes a boy/girl/tree/other a slut and/or cum dumpster? i know its not a achievement unlocked thing where you get a scarlet letter for doing something thats definitely earns you a slut/cum dumpster/village bicycle trophy but for sure people do slutty stuff or get filled up with so much cum that people gotta say it or it wouldnt happen. how much is enough to be a slut, and then how much for others of these sex tophies? thats what id like to know because im fine with being a slut but i want to know i deserve it. cheers, slut cup"

Special Segment: Bukkake! Father’s Month Special and Amazon Giveaway! Also, support us on Patreon finally!

Final Thoughts: We all have breasts. Every one of us.

Related Links:

  • Lovehoney's Rabbit Amnesty (via Mattheyous): Lovehoney: "You can send us anything that is classed as WEEE (Waste Electrical or Electronic Equipment). If it's a sex toy, it must have vibrating parts - we do not accept dildos."
  • Inside the Complicated World of Recycling Sex Toys (via Mattheyous): Nerve: "Far past being de-stigmatized, sex toys are now an expanding industry, worth an estimated $15 billion globally. CVS, Walgreens, Kroger, Safeway, Target, and Walmart are now lining their shelves with discreetly packaged vibrators. Financial news outlets like CNBC have touted toys as a boom industry while the rest of the economy continues to go limp. The advent of Fleshlights and prostate stimulators means that adult pleasure items are now also helping men through lonely nights, and it is apparently not beneath The New York Times to address baby boomers’ anxiety that their adult kids will come across a certain nightstand drawer or box beneath the bed after they’ve gone on to meet Jim Morrison and Jerry Garcia in the great Woodstock in the sky."
  • Where Do Sex Toys Go When They Die? (via Mattheyous): The Debrief: "Ever wondered where sex toys go when they die? Believe it or not, it’s something we’ve been musing on Chez Debrief for some time now. Do they get sent to a special vibrator graveyard? Obviously not, that would be mental but, there’s something both sad and a bit creepy about the thought of all the vibrators, dildos and cock rings that have bought joy to our lives being sent to the dump. (You know, the very same one your dad visits every Saturday with the mysterious contents of the garden shed)."
  • The Next Big Thing In Cycling Could Be Poop Doping: Deadspin: "Read one particular way, the history of cycling is a history of riders doing all they can to stretch past the natural limits of the human body. Cheating has been at the very heart of cycling since its inception and riders have tried, at various points throughout the sport’s history, strychnine, EPO, cocaine, wine, horse tranquilizers, blood bags, cortisol, and even tiny hidden motors. Now we come upon a new frontier: poop. The future of cycling is shit."