The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

Got a question or comment? Visit awkwardhuman.com/ask for lots of options! Check out our Subreddit, too!

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.



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148: Recipes, Please!

January 17, 2017 at 1:45AM • 1 hour 11 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about semi-suicidal tendencies, our favorite recipes, and becoming the Queen of England or a mummy? Questions/comments/stories/whatevers? Visit awkward.email or call/text 509-AWKWARD to use your lovely voice or texting fingers!

Guest: Lindsay "IUD Girl" Bring




Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: Who knows!

This Week's Questions:

  • Bonnie from Boston (28/SF) asks, "Thank you so much for reading my question on-air!! The advice you gave was so was very helpful. I had an "ah-ha" moment when one person asked, "did they behave this way towards the previous lead?" And the answer is Yes! I don't think I ever really noticed, because I've been in position longer than the lead, and when I hear negative criticism towards her (or anyone) I would take that of that as an opportunity to share my best practices and assume that she doesn't know a better way -- whereas they would just move on with the belief that the lead is an idiot. Well guess who the new "idiot" is .. MEEE because I was offered the lead position and accepted. I am so happy, still a bit nervous about how things will go with these two girls but the feedback you gave will help me to overcome this obstacle. Thank you again, Bonnie from Boston"
  • Semi-Suicidal Sammy (29+1/GM) asks, "Aloha! So here's the big anonymous deal. I'm on the 2nd anniversary of my 29th birthday, and I'm a gay dude. Gay, gay, gay. I've got issues and volumes and sagas. Making it brief? My tummy doesn't make happy-mind drugs like it's supposed to because of IBD. I'm on 5 prescription drugs to get me out of the bed in the morning. I've got a great mix of diagnosed (Severe) Major Depression, ADHD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Panic Disorder. Yes, I'm delightful. Here's the awkward part. My (third) psychiatrist is all like, "Okay, little gay boy. I want you off some of these meds, because it's a LOT, but you need to have 1 month of no suicidal thoughts before you can let up on some of these. Up this drug and that drug and let's see what happens." And I'm all like, "Mmkay, that's fine." But it's not really fine. I haven't gone a month without a suicidal thought in my living memory. I see a great therapist once a week. I've done meditations. I'm a mindfulness junky. Gotten my cardio. Yoga is my friend. I take vitamin D supplements and I have a fucking SUNLAMP and I have never reached that level of mental health. Is this even a thing people can reach? Do normal people not deal with this at least monthly? Even if just a fleeting, OH MY GOD WHY CAN'T I JUST NOT EXIST? I'm not sure I believe this. Is this a realistic goal to be asked? Not one suicidal thought in a month? Is this a thing that exists? Clarification: My thoughts are that I want to be dead or not exist. I don't plan or have any inclination to actually off myself. This has mostly always been the case and I have informed my psychiatrist of this. I still need to have 1 month where I don't have that thought."
  • Harry (16/SM) asks, "Hey awkward humans. My names Harry and I'm a 16 year old straight male from the UK and I really need some advise. It may seem very boring for the show but this is the typical teenage problem. So I've never had a girlfriend but this girl really likes me and I like her back, but I don't know how to ask her out! Like I don't want to seem stupid and I don't want to seem really weird and embarrassing. Is you have any advise I could use it. Thanks, Harry"
  • Anita (F) asks, "My brother has an ongoing business 'SITUATION' making him stay at my house for three weeks every quarter of the year. I have a young boy of eight that is shy and polite, no one sweeter. He loves Lucky Charms. My brother comes in and does the routine of 'I'm after your lucky charms' in the method of the leprechaun and his voice. It frightens my boy but he is too polite to tell my brother so he stands around like a statue until my brother stops. I talked with my brother about the problem and he says he will stop but now my son has PTSD when my brother wants his lucky charms. When he takes the box his body turns into rock. I told him he does not need to worry about it anymore but it has stuck with him for some reason. I took him to his psychiatrist to explain and she has not come up with an answer. He has anxiety, clearly, but why about this? He gets so upset about a breakfast cereal. I tried to stop buying the cereal but he stops talking if I bring it up. Do kids play jokes like this for attention? I am a single mother and I want my boy to have a man in his life and my brother needs a place to stay. He can get a hotel but what an annoyance for him that would be. Is this a childhood thing you've heard of before? Did any of you grow up with anxiety and know what I should do to help my boy?"
  • Anonymous asks, "
    1. If you wanted to be the queen what would it cost to change to hidious decore before moving in...??
    2. Could a mummy survive if the blood was real?
    3. Sence you take for fucking ever ti respond... Heres a good one... Can you take delivery of 100 lbs of meth in kansas city missouri.... No... Ill have your ass indicted hahahahahaha
    4. How do you spell hermaphfrodite
    5. Does the queen really use cheep bleech and order all new underwear every month?
    6. One youll apparently have to discover the answer to... What do you do when your catylist is junk? Hahahahahahaha
    "
  • Anonymous asks, "I need a recipe please ????"

Special Segment: Somewhere in the spacetime continuum, an animal is pooping on your lawn. Worry about that, not about some special segment. Is our devotion to you insufficient? Do our efforts not quench your thirst for entertaining insights? Well, deal with it!

Final Thoughts: Do you smell like a barn animal?

Related Links:

  • Mac & Cheese: Chef Brent Mimeault shows us how to make Mac & Cheese the way it should be - piled high, creamy and mouth-watering. And, oh, yeah, with lots and lots of cheese. Killer stuff.
  • Greek Tzatziki: Tzatziki is so wonderfully light and fresh-tasting. The cucumber and Greek yogurt flavors work well together. This is a nice, healthy snack to have simply with pita and tomatoes or as a side to a meat or lamb dish.
  • Kids Make Fresh Pasta: Join Jane Ziegelman from Kids Cook! as she makes delicious, fresh pasta with her students, Buster and Alice. This is a pasta primavera dish with nice healthy asparagus and peas, and a very simple sauce made from cooking liquid, butter and a little grated cheese. So easy. So fun.