The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

Got a question or comment? Visit awkwardhuman.com/ask for lots of options! Check out our Subreddit, too!

**NSFW**

Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.



← Previous Episode   |   Next Episode →

123: Big Black Cake

July 19, 2016 at 4:15AM • 2 hours 10 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about erotic baking, revenge porn, weird Los Angeles activities, and herpes! Questions/comments/stories? Call or text 509-AWKWARD!




Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: Ashley Manta de-stigmatizes herpes and the group goes on a very long orgy tangent.

This Week's Questions:

  • Beverly asks, "I am a 60 year old female that recently began listening to podcasts. Running out of interesting shows I googled the following: really good podcasts and yours was in several lists that google spat back. I decided to listen to your Drag Pets show. At first I thought gosh, these kids are pretty smart and are giving some thoughtful feedback to a couple of tough questions. Then you read the one from a young lady who's mom was suing her dad for divorce and claiming marital rape for grounds. Even though she didn't specifically say she was hurt by her mother's revelation that her dad had raped her for their entire marriage and that she and her siblings were the product of those rapes you could read between the lines that she was hurt to say the least. She also went on to say that she did know her mom has some emotional problems and we can assume that she does, perhaps, suffer from a mental illness. Everyone paused before responding and at first said nothing harmful until the young man that was there that day said something along the lines of whether or not the writer could believe her mom and that if she had mental issues perhaps she was lying and that her father might not have raped her mom. At one point he said perhaps she thought she'd been raped but hadn't been. Shame on you! The last thing you ever do when someone claims to have been raped is doubt their word. I didn't listen to your comments after that because clearly you guys are to young to be fielding such extraordinarily serious questions. It wasn't your place to ask whether or not her mom had made the whole thing up. Your place was to help the writer of that painful letter. Questioning her Mom's word was no help at all. Better to have given her the name of some rape counselors in her area or even to recommend a book. Yes, you did the right thing when suggesting family counseling and counseling for herself. But please in the future don't doubt the word of someone that says they've been raped."
  • Mattheyous asks, "This is sort of a VERY URGENT question for The Awkward Human Survival Guide. I did something really stupid. I got caught up sexting on Kik a girl on kick and forgot to cover my face. She found my Facebook and is going to send the pictures to my friends and family (she will most likely get reported and frankly I don’t give a shit if people see my naked body—ever since I had two strokes and had to wear a diaper and have people wipe my ass). She wanted $300. I sent her a message to the extent of basically that I don’t have $300, I won’t be paying it, and I will take legal action if she shares them. I also have pictures of her (which unfortunately I blocked her too, so I don’t anymore, but she does’t know that). I blocked her and reported her on Kik. What’s my next move here, legally, if she does share it? I ended up locking down my Facebook profile so she can’t seem my friends. Please help. ASAP. P.S. I should note that the diaper thing was DURING MY HOSPITAL STAY and in-patient rehab."
  • Alicia (29/SF) asks, "Hey humans! I love your podcast and I’d like to hear what you have to say about this. I’m a 29 year-old straight female. I have known my best friend for five years. We have a very similar background and personality and get each other almost perfectly. A year ago, he told me that he had started to feel different about me, that our friendship was the perfect base for a relationship and that he wanted to date me. I was then getting out of a relationship myself and asked him to wait a bit, and he agreed to. All the things he’d said made sense to me and I was excited about dating him, so a couple of months later, I felt ready to give it a chance. But then he said he had doubts, that we lacked some sort of spark, “magic” (yep, he said “magic”) and that he was very passionate and needed stronger emotions. We hooked up for a while (keeping our friendship and talking to each other literally every day), but I was feeling played with and asked him to make a decision. He wanted to try if we took things easy and slowly, and we did. From then on, most of it was great, but we had some communication problems (basically, he started patronizing me and trying to fix anything I commented about my daily life and I was afraid of overwhelming him with my anxiety and tried to keep him out of it). All this was a long-distance relationship (he was working abroad) and we were only able to see each other in person once in those three months. Now, after finally spending a week together in person, he started to have doubts again. He said that he needs more interaction, more illusion, more magic (again), that us being together doesn’t come as natural to him. I’ve been working on the problems he was raising during these months (like being more communicative), but that apparently hasn’t been enough. We broke up. He had never been in a serious relationship before, and all the girls he has been with always had boyfriends and were cheating on them with him. He says that he needs to be very sure before starting anything, but I think it is more that he has too idealized ideas of the person he wants to date and has never find anyone that is even close. I feel he’s been playing with me and I got to see this selfish, immature, cruel side of him. He doesn’t want to be with me, I get that. I still feel we have all we need for a great relationship, but I guess we have different points of view with respect of what we expect of a relationship. My question is: I don’t know if I should still be friends with him. On the one hand, we still have this deep connexion and our conversations are amazing again; on the other, if he has used me for exploring what it is like to be in a relationship, he’s worse a person than I thought he was, and I don’t feel so save around him anymore. I wouldn’t want to lose one of my best friends, but I don’t know if the relationship is too damaged. (thanks for reading this too long question and for your answer, and sorry if there’s any problem with my English, it’s not my first language)."
  • Erica from Canada (22/SF) called in with a lovely voicemail that you'll have to listen to in the show. :)
  • Max (22/BM/Cis) asks, "Ahoi guys, I'll just use you as my tourist guides because who gives a fuck about my boring love life: I'm in OC and LA for 2 weeks and try to figure out what to do here. I mean can you just drive around in your car, harass Ryan Gosling and force him to greet your Mom on Snapchat? I honestly don't know and I already went to the beach and Disneyland. so give me some tips pls"

Special Segment: Interview with Jamaica, owner of Jamaica's Cakes (a both regular and erotic bakery).

Final Thoughts: My anaconda don't want none unless you got a dead mouse, hun.