The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

Got a question or comment? Visit awkwardhuman.com/ask for lots of options! Check out our Subreddit, too!

**NSFW**

Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.



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12: Go F*** at the Manatee's Aquarium

June 3, 2014 at 11:45AM • 57 minutes • Wiki Entry

This week on the podcast how many steps your FitBit thinks it takes to reach orgasm, gay rent boys, and one place where you should never have s**.




Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Questions this week:

  • FitBit Fornicator asks, "Hello, I have a question for your cool podcast: Could a fitbit track how much you m*********? Like 'oh no I forgot to take my fitbit off, now I m*********d for three miles.’"
  • Anonymous asks, “I got in an argument with my girlfriend last night…probably. She’s really mad, and I am not sure what to do because I don’t know why she’s mad. We got really drunk last night, and I remember having a good time, but this morning she wasn’t talking to me. I was just talking to her like normal and she left. So I asked her what was wrong and she blew up at me and left the apartment. So apparently whatever I did or said was really bad and asking her to explain it to me isn’t going to work. So how do I get her to tell me what’s wrong without p****** her off more?”
  • * Sandy asks, "So here is my issue? I am a 40 something gay man I did all the things gay man of my era have done, s** drugs fun etc .. For the last two years been in a serious relationship . So I got bored .. Work was great built a career etc . I am one of those people who promised himself that at the age of 30 I wouldn't still be going to clubs and on the whole I wasn’t. So ended up a club with a few mates there were lots of young t***** like the club kids of my generation. Now the good thing is that they were wonderfully rude to us old men . They were the kind of boys who wouldn't really talk to us not even really let us buy drinks etc ( as we allowed guys to do for us when we were young ) We had all been drinking etc it was a fun silly evening. I went home So I am at home take out my I phone .. look up grinder, blender one of those apps, as you do . And one of the club kids pops up , we chat if thats really chatting and I got an offer ( I need to make it very clear in my 40 plus years plus of life that I never ever did that before ) Well the offer from this young man was cash for s** not a lot of cash 120 quid , I thought why not and did it . It was a little sad but the s** was fun and what amused me most is that this boy wouldn't take a drink from me in a club but had a secret life as a rent boy . Well it was a strange and somewhat silly experience but fun a few mights later I was late in from work , poured a vodka etc and began looking on my phone and saw another one of those boys from the club same thing happened I have since done this a few times ( few times means 12 times or so ) So my question is am I just another sad old gay man ? Is the rent boy thing a rights of passage that I missed ? Should I be more public about it?"
  • Our next door neighbors who we have never met left us the following note the other day. “We wanted to address an awkward situation. We hear your s***** intercourse VERY LOUDLY. The walls are very thin and everyone can hear you. For the sake of other people can you please tone it down?” My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 years and just don’t have those kinds of s** marathons anymore. I know it’s the neighbors on the floor below us because we constantly have to turn up the volume on game of thrones s** scenes to drown them out. I was too mortified by the situation to say anything and now I’m worried I will run into them one day and they will figure out what we look like and accuse of us having loud s** to our faces.