The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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116: Boy Club

June 1, 2016 at 12:15AM • 1 hour 11 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about super virgins, a sexy ghost, and Boy Club! Want to ask a question on the show? Visit or call/text 509-AWKWARD!

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: Kyle gets propositioned by a French Hassid. Bobby gets crabs from a one-balled man.

This Week's Questions:

  • Brandon (24/SM) asks, "Hola awkward humans! I just found your podcast from Nerdist but forgot to listen until two weeks ago or something and have to catch up fast! I started listening backwards but that really confused me lots so now I am going from the start. Great stuff! I got some time to write in after procrastinating for weeks and I think you'll totally be into this. My girlfriend is possessed by a sexy ghost. Not really you know but she talks in her sleep like she's from the renaissance and is in orgies with lots of different mans (and sometimes the womens)! Sometimes one on one sex or in the back of a church. It's all over the place but it's always fucking, sucking, touching, groping, kissing, and other sexual thingies. She dreams it I assume and then talks like she's in it but she can't remember any of it later and she doesn't sleep explain what's happening. She's just like there and whatnot. I laugh at it when it wakes me up and I don't even care but she knows she's doing it and hates it. She wants to get help to not do that so I said go to a sleep doctor but her doctor said they can't help with that, maybe therapy would be better. Do you know stuff about this? Should she go to an exorcist? She's super duper superstitious so I was thinking it's bull crap but she might buy it and be like, oh no more sex ghost it totally feels all gone now. POOF. I recorded it on tape so just so you know I have it in case she ever stops and I need to hear it again. If I can make her agree to it I'll send it to you. It's so funny dude. You'll love it."
  • Anonymous Voicemail (18/SM) asks, "What do I do after the date? I'm a virgin and I'm not sure how to go beyond the date."
  • Pamela (27/SF) asks, "I'm 27-year-old straight female and a "super virgin" (a slang term that gets thrown around--primarily by teens--to indicate someone who's never had any sexual experience). I'm not saving myself or anything, sex just never happened; I've tried dating (online, mostly, 'cause I'm something of a hermit and have some social anxiety issues), and it's always been disappointing (I'm very plain and pretty chubby, so I don't get many matches, much less first dates); but I once held a man's hand while we watched a movie together. That's...pretty much as close to "experience" I've gotten in my almost-30-years of life. At this point, I'm wondering if I should just try to become a 30-year-old virgin for the novelty factor...but that would mean sharing, and I'm rather a private person. And that's somewhat my question: considering last week's podcast on virginity, how do I bring up and/or discuss my virginity with a potential partner? I had always assumed that around Date 3 is when one should have (if not already had) the discussion of boundaries and the like, but even when I get that far, it's always unbearably awkward and it never feels organic to bring up. The few times I've told anyone I was a virgin, they always give me weird looks, like I'm a circus attraction (or, more like, a museum artifact). Any tips on broaching and discussing this subject without making the awkward conversation any worse?"
  • Kerry (27/SF) asks, "I am just can't tell if this is a problem or not! Can you help me? It's like this: when my BF goes home to visit family, sometimes his sister goes to sleep in his bed and they sleep together. Not sure how I address this because he's almost 28 years old and she is 25 years old. Why it makes me uncomfortable is that this is the same type of sister that likes to share her 'sexual interests' and 'experiences' with my BF. Am I paranoid?"
  • Ezra (SM) asks, "My woman Eva works in a hotel like Marriott. Smaller franchise but like Marriott. I am hiding its identity, wink/nudge, but you the hotel. Eva is a large woman. Round and proud. I am a smaller guy with not many muscles. I love to be lost in her fat rolls. She loves it too. We said let's fuck in the hotel. So we fuck on the beds to start doing it and then that was boring. We moved on to places where it is public but not many people at night. We fuck in a private corner or in the gym at night. Irony is not lost on me. Eva works in customer service and she knows the locations people don't go. She forgot about cameras. Security guard did not and so now we have a problem. The security guard now talks to her about a recording of our fucks. His name is Bill F****** and I wish him to die. He tells her she is gross and fat. He says we are disgusting but he will tell the manager if we don't fuck for him night after night. I want to punch him but I am not a strong man. I could start new exercise but it would take a long time to get enough muscle to punch him. I need this problem solved faster than I can get muscles. We now fuck and I know he is watching. Always watching us from the camera. He picks the location. A woman almost saw the fuck one time. I feel his eyes on my body during the fucks. I hate this man. Eva needs the job and I love her so I fuck her in the hotel every night Bill wants to see. But he tells her bad things and she has to hear them all. How can I stop this and not lose her job? Please help me and Eva please."

Special Segment: Special guests Kyle Raymond Fitzpatrick and Bobby Solomon talk about their new magazine Boy Club

Final Thoughts: We're always thinking of you in the end.