The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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111: Pink Cheeks and Anal Bleach

April 26, 2016 at 11:15AM • 1 hour 42 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're getting our butts waxed, talking about anal bleach, always being right, and sleep Tourette's. Want to ask a question on the show? Questions/comments/stories? Visit or call/text 509-AWKWARD.

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: We got our butts waxed!

This Week's Questions:

  • Gail (23/SF) asks, "My question is about being right and when I should not care about it. My boyfriend and I argue a lot because he says I'm argumentative when I think he is just a stupid person about certain things. I love him though and I don't think he himself is stupid but he is literally stupid about a lot of things. This got out of control when we talked about pennies at breakfast this morning. He thinks pennies are cool and we should have them. I told him it doesn't matter if they're cool or not because they cost almost twice as much to make as they are worth. The US mint has a cost of 1.8 cents per penny they make so every time they make a penny they almost lose one in value. We need to get rid of pennies. We have lots of bad decisions in this country and things don't change because politicians don't do their jobs but nothing is so stupid as pennies. We have no reason for pennies. They don't have a purpose and no one wants them except my boyfriend. I try to get him to understand why he's wrong but he just gets sad or angry. Maybe I am a bitch kind of but it's like I'm right and he's not. It's not an opinion I'm talking about but a fact and he can't accept the facts. I love him but I don't know what to do about him when this happens. Should I stop being right all the time? That's not fair is it? I am a smart woman and my intelligence makes him feel insecure but I shouldn't have to dumb down to make him feel better about himself. He should get over it right?"
  • Caroline (18/SF) asks, "I think my sister has tourette's syndrome when she sleeps. We go to college together and share a dorm room because we grew up that way but since she left the house she says nasty things in her sleep. I wake up in the middle of the night because she is screaming these nasty things. I think one time she had an affair with Mussolini and she was a German soldier because she was speaking what sounded like German but also told Mussolini to fuck her harder and rub his giant cock in her armpit. Some nights it is just fuck this or shit on that which isn't bad but her dreams or nightmares (I'm not sure?) go deep. She fought 'sum bitch' (her words) over a cheese sandwich. Most of the time she is angry at a seagull who won't stop walking in circles around her bicycle parking spot when she's trying to work out in the yard. It is very distracting to her in this dream. I haven't had talks with her about any of it because she is a very shy girl compared to me and I am still shy too. I don't know how to tell her about her dreams. She might get uncomfortable and not want to talk to me which would be bad because we live together in a small dorm room. I also am scared to say the things she said out loud. They're so awkward. How can I talk to my sister about her sleeping problems?"

Special Segment: Interview with Cindy Pink Cheeks, pioneer of several bikini waxes and anal bleaching.

Final Thoughts: Lionel sings Mister Mistoffolees from the worst musical ever.