The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

Got a question or comment? Visit awkwardhuman.com/ask for lots of options! Check out our Subreddit, too!

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.



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108: She Squirts First

April 5, 2016 at 2:00PM • 1 hour 30 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about female ejaculation, silent roommates, deleted conversations, and all white babies! Questions/comments/stories? Visit awkward.email or call/text 509-AWKWARD.




Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: Not an awkward story, but Paul shares his experience performing a sex scene.

This Week's Questions:

  • Chloe (16/GF) asks, "Hey Humans! I’m a 16 year old gay female, and I’ve been interested in a girl for quite awhile now (about a year). We’ve been aquaintances for a long time but have just recently started “talking.” I know that she is interested in me as well, but many of her friends have told me that she doesn’t want us to be romantically involved because of the “drama” that surrounds me. There is no REAL drama currently happening, but possible conflicts may arise if we were to date. First, my ex is making it very obvious (and public) that she wants to get back together with me. I have made it very clear that I do not want this to happen, but the girl I am interested in is friends with my ex. She doesn’t want to upset my ex by being romantically involved with me, which i understand. Second, a very popular girl in our school is telling everyone that we have a “thing” when we do not. This particular girl is completely ridden with drama, and the girl I am interested in doesn’t want to be on her bad side by being with me. So basically, she would be willing to give us a shot if these possible conflicts weren’t a problem anymore. How do I separate myself from my ex and this popular girl so that being with her would not cause problems? Thanks in advance, Chloe :)"
  • Harshit (SM) asks, "Hello. My girlfriend of two years cheated on me with her ex-boyfriend but now she regrets it and has threatened to die if I don't forgive her and accept her. She calls me every day and says she'd be angry if I don't talk to her. She insists continuously that her cheating was an accident. My only fault is that due to her selfish and careless behavior I told her previously that if she cheated to just end it but she didn't. What should I do? Please help..."
  • Marcy (SF/27) asks, "I have some roommate troubles if you can help me with that. I am not loud but she is very quiet. She needs to have perfect peace and quiet all the time. When she interviewed me to be in her apartment I didn't think she was so very serious about it. She said to me that she wanted a quiet roommate who didn't make noise. I didn't believe she meant any noise at all because how is that possible? I get knocks on my door at night sometimes because I'm moving in the bed and my bed movement is too loud. She said when I was reading and she was in the adjacent kitchen that I was breathing too loud and should try to breathe softer because it sounds disgusting. I told her this is too much but she says I agreed to it when I moved in and I have to obey the rules or I can move out. So I said I'd move out but I can't right now because I don't have the money to move yet. Like I basically have to pretend I'm dead to be quiet enough for her. She is crazy. She also lost her nuts when I said I would move out saying I was abandoning her and I'm a bad person. But she told me I should go. I also said let's switch bedrooms so she's on the top floor and she wouldn't hear creaking noises but she refuses because someone died in that room. I try not to imagine who or why that person died because what if they were too loud and she murdered them? I doubt it but I she is crazy and I don't know what to do other than save my money and escape. But in the meantime how can I handle her noise requests? I can't be more quiet. I am human. I make noises!"
  • Gio (aka Mr. Land Reform) asks, "If someone delete their conversation do you think they're hiding something? How to handle girl's mood?"
  • Cyndi (SF/49) asks, "My son dated an African American woman for many years and he recently proposed. I said to him at the start, Michael you will have an uphill climb dating a different race. Especially that one. I'm not a racist just a realist. Mixed race couples face lots of challenges. For example his grandparents will not accept the relationship so he's hidden it from them. Now she is my son's fiancée and I don't know how to discuss this situation with him. She is very sweet but it won't work out with our family. Also my biggest problem is that I prefer all white babies. I don't have any problems with African Americans but I just don't feel great about having mixed race grandchildren. They won't fit in with the family and my parents won't accept them. What can I say to my son to help him? I feel he should find a nice white woman to avoid these problems, but if they must marry do you know if there is a way he can still have white children with her? Can she carry another white woman's egg do you know? This could be the best compromise. Please advise."

Special Segment: Special guests Olivia Bond (author of She Squirts First) and Paul Shaw discuss female ejaculation!

Final Thoughts: We ain't got none!

Related Links:

  • She Squirts First: What if your girlfriend isn’t sexually satisfied because she never ejaculated? What if you had the power to make any woman squirt? Yes, female ejaculation is real! She will squirt all over you, and you both will love sex like never before. You’re one click away from discovering the 8 keys that will transform your fantasy into a life-changing reality, and allow you to meet the Sex Goddess your partner has always been.
  • Nitrile Gloves: Paul's recommended glove type, available in many colors on Amazon!