The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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105: You Say Yes, Sir!

March 15, 2016 at 10:15AM • 1 hour 36 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about social anxieties, flirting with married men, and more pooping during sex—this time, with vaginas! Questions/comments? Visit or call/text 509-AWWKARD.

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: The group discusses awkward moments due to age discrepancies.

This Week's Questions:

  • Anonymous (M) asks, "So I'm at this camp near the end of the summer in Oregon, and I go hiking with a few friends. There are maybe six of us, and at about halfway through, many are debating leaving. Having hiked here before, I know where we are. Most end up leaving, except for two sisters. At the time I was 13, and the older sister was 16-17, the younger was my age. Now their dad was down at the camp, so when we finished the hike he wasn't happy. We hadn't done anything. The older sister was like the chaperone, so it was okay. That night it's past curfew, and I'm with the sister's brother in the cafeteria. It's late, so I go back and walk through the gym as a shortcut, and behind me, the dad was following me. I walked through the gym and the door behind me opens as I'm about to exit. I don't think much of it, give an awkward wave, and am about to leave. He stops me and says (from across the room). "I don't ever wanna see you with my daughters again." I had never been involved in any kind of sexual situation in my life. This guy was acting like I had. I thought he was joking, but also didn't think it was very funny, and I gave an awkward giggle. Freaking a giggle. He gets mad and says "you say yes sir." Holy freaking crap. I said yes sir, and he left. I got back to my cabin so quickly man. And this was Tuesday. I went home on Friday. I spent the whole frickin week with that guy. The girls didn't know why I was avoiding them, I wouldn't get near enough to tell them. I went to that camp every summer for years with the the same people. It was bad. And that's my story."
  • Anonymous asks, "Yes lol so I was with my boyfriend this one time and we were making out then there was a sudden awkward silence afterwards. What should I do?"
  • Jed I. Knight asks, "Hey there, I started listening to your podcast and it gives me mucho enjoymento while I am at work. I literally listen to it 8 hours a day and I am only on like episode 25 but it'd be cool to randomly get an answer to my question later on (shouldn't take long with how fast I go through episodes lol). Anyways I have this weird problem with myself where I can be really fun to be around and be extroverted etc, but it is pretty much only when I am with people I trust like really good friends and family, and I let my normal personality "go wild", do random things like talking to strangers and making weird noises to get reactions out of people because I find it hilarious. But when I am by myself or around new people I am like a completely different person and I become self conscious and my biggest fear is that people will notice that I am nervous or that my face will get red if I get uncomfortable. This problem is especially annoying for my dating life, I would love to have a girlfriend (straight btw) and my life is great other than not having someone to share it with, but this nervousness goes to an all time high when I am around women that I find attractive. in my situation I don't really go out much and like other people asking for advice on this show, I am not into the clubbing sort of way to meet people. To help you guys out more, I am a 20 year old male and I don't attend university or really go out often. So with that wall of text, my question is how can someone that might have mild social anxiety and I guess a fear of not being around people I trust, be themselves enough to be able to attract a potential partner? PS Darren you're hilarious (ha gayyyyyy) dirty Darren strikes again ayyy. Alright I'm done sorry."
  • Anonymous (M) asks, "How do I stop pooping during sex? It's only during vaginal sex. But I am a man. My wife is starting to hate it."
  • Mitchell (SM) asks, "My girlfriend has been receiving flirty texts from a married guy but nothing will happen. We discussed. She don't give me much attention when they are chatting though and I feel I can't trust him to not send naughty pictures which he has done but stopped because it caused an argument. Should I be jealous even if she doesn't flirt back?"
  • Mimi (SF) asks, "I'm meeting up with my boyfriend from a long distance relationship. He's staying at my place. How do I make him feel welcome?"
  • Gio (aka Mr. Land Reform) asks, "If the woman you love breaks up with you, what do you have? Because she is tired being by my side, so am I gonna do to keep her by my side? I try sweet messages to go out with her and tell her jokes and songs for her. I try to make her comfortable when she is with me. Is there any way to make her happy and stay? Thanks for your response, I'll wait...all my life I'm waiting hehehehe."

Special Segment: Not yet :(

Awkward Playlist: Remix of FF6's Decisive Battle Theme