The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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103: Always Be Dripping

March 1, 2016 at 1:30AM • 59 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're talking about genetic romance, marriage pressure, and black tarry shit. Questions/stories/comments? Visit or call/text 509-AWKWARD.

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: The group shares their most awkward bathroom moment.

This Week's Questions:

  • Jen asks, "Thanks for taking on my awkward situation last week. I wrote in about the mystery roommate who keeps leaving poop smears in the toilet. First of all I have to tell you it is definitely not me! I'm way too obsessed with my diet and poop consistency to have shits like that and not know it was me. Also I lived with my partner before he moved in and it never happened at his place. I have a hunch who the mystery shitter is based on watching my roommates eating habits. I'm honestly worried about their health because their shit is jet black and has the consistency of tar. I think I'm going to try and become better friends with this person until we can talk about poop related stuff and then be like 'by the way, clean up after yourself ;)' Anyway, I liked the J Lo 'ENOUGH' suggestion too. I'm so not that person but maybe I'll do it right before we move out and just leave it at that. Thanks again! Love the podcast."
  • Andzy asks, "Am I really that bad/ugly/boring not to have a boyfriend?"
  • Spencer (23/SM) asks, "Hey everyone, I live in an area where marriage is heavily encouraged by the dominant religion, and men my age are looked down upon if they are still single. Even my family treats me like I’m not very successful because I am not married (and I’m still young!). All my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors ask is “are you dating anyone?” or “Why aren’t you married yet?” The pressure is getting annoying and hurts me, because I am graduating with my undergrad degree in May and then in August I am moving to NYC for law school. I feel like I am successful, but because of where I have grown up, my religion, and the pressures from my family, I feel like they aren’t as proud of me as they would be if I had a wife. I do not want to get married before I move to law school, because there’s just not enough time! What advice can you give me for dealing with this unwanted pressure about getting married at such a young age, especially when I don’t have a “significant other” right now? Thanks!"
  • Anonymous (22/M) asks, "Hello Humans. I have a problem with an older sibling. We are orphans because my mom was mentally unstable and burned the house down with us in it and maybe murdered my dad. Nobody knows because the fire department rescued us and we almost died from suffocating but my mom and dad didn't get out. They figured out she started the fire but we don't know what happened with my dad. We lived with my grandmom after that all happened. I was five so I don't remember it a whole lot anyway so it didn't scar me like my sisters. I am in the middle and have a sister who is a year younger than me who is sane and my older sister who is five years older than me who is insane. I am 22 so that makes them 21 and 27 respectively. I am writing you because I don't want my sister to be crazy but I think there is a chance she is. We all have jobs now. My younger sister works on Wall Street as a trade broker. I write articles for a blog similarly to Adam. That is how I found you guys, actually. My older sister can't hold down a real job most of the time but she works for a health food company now. Why she is crazy: she gives us all health tips at dinner. We have dinner twice a week now because our grandmom and granddad died and it's just us so we stick together. Me and my younger sister just ignored her at first because she talked about vitamins that made your body feel lighter or removed toxic waste from the food you ate. It was definitely bunk but harmless, probably. Now she comes to tell us that Western medicine is not good for medicine but what we need to use for preventative treatment. To give an example, she has begun using creams and lotions as condiments on her food. Last week she applied a string of Lotrimin to a gyro. She looks pale and I worry about her health. My younger sister wants to talk about it but I told her we need to concoct a plan because mental health is a very sensitive subject for our family. Can you help me think of the best way to talk to her eating habits and craziness? I think she won't like it but it will get worse if we don't confront her."
  • Ryan (30/SM) asks, "What do you do to make friends when in your 30s? I find it that the social circle for most people is formed in their 20s or earlier. What do you do if, for whatever reason, your social circle no longer exists anymore? To complicate things again, what do you do if you're an entrepreneur and 'the job' takes most of your free time? I'm not seeking a hectic social life, just friends."
  • Karol (20/GF) asks, "Hi guys. I'm a 20-year-old lesbian female and I'm in love with my aunt. What should I do about it? It's a 10 year difference so not huge in age. She's the only one who has accepted me as gay from the start and she's gorgeous. I've always looked up to her as a mentor of sorts. I love her but I'm scared of driving her away and losing her as a friend if she finds out. Do I tell her the truth? Could she love me back? Is it wrong?"

Special Segment: We're working on new interviews. They're coming, we promise!

Final Thoughts: Adam covers the Double Rainbow song.