The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

Got a question or comment? Visit awkwardhuman.com/ask for lots of options! Check out our Subreddit, too!

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.



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101: Hoverboard Blowies for Brain Damaged Spouses

February 16, 2016 at 3:00AM • 54 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're continuing the 100th episode celebration with brain damaged spouses, a wife lost in a maze of her husband's fat, and some dude cumming in gym towels. Weehoe! Questions/comments/stories? Visit awkward.email!

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Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: Mikey S. shares a hoverboard blowjob video with Darren.

This Week's Questions:

  • Faye (SF) asks, "I am in a peculiar situation; that I am the caretaker of a brain-damaged spouse. The massive stroke that turned my spouse into my dependent has deepened my affection for him and determination to take care of him for the rest of his life. Still, my husband is 15 years older than myself, so I am fairly young still, plus I look younger than my biological age (I am very sporty). Everybody automatically thinks he is my dad. I have taken care of him for 5 years, while managing a business. Recently I started to feel romantically for a bachelor neighbor. He seems to seek out opportunities to run into me, but it could be coincidence. He asked me to have a drink over a couple of times, but seems to be doing cleaning or flipping channels when I am over. I am at a point where I need to bring more balance into my life, and even though this is not typical of me, I would like to start a relationship with him that is based on doing things together that we both enjoy. Should I tell him?"
  • Anonymous (17/SM) asks, "A girl at school has a crush on me because I heard about it on accident, like her friends were talking. Then I asked one of them about it because she is my friend too and she said yeah. I was so nervous for some reason but I asked out the girl and she said no. If she has a crush on me why would she say no? I didn't ask her because I was so embarrassed. Now I hide when I see her. Why did she say no to me?"
  • Julian (SM) asks, "Okay. This asshole is cumming in the towels at my fitness center. They stick together. It could be an employee or a patron. I don't go to a gay gym or anything so I don't think guys are fucking each other. I'm not saying that from a homophobic place but because Adam said this happens in Weehoe (where you live) in another episode so it's not like that. I wrote a comment card and said to the staff that the towels are 'dirty' but not specifically filled with cum. It's a lot of cum. I know the smell because I am a guy with a good cum shot. It comes out a lot and you gotta smell it. I also use towels so I know. I definitely know. Question is how does this stop? I don't know of a better gym in 20 miles."
  • Ken (21/M) asks, "I just transferred to a new school and live off campus and was wondering how to make some new friends to hang out with when people around my age already have their own social circle. From past experience I find it quite difficult when trying to join someone's social circle. I will graduate next year."
  • Jessie (26/SF) asks, "Dear Coworkers of the World, I am very stupid. I fell in love with a beautiful man and the sex was great but then he gained weight and it wasn't. Even though his visuals are less amazing than before it is that he is lazy and he sweats very much. He thinks he has a glandular problem for his whole life but where were those glands when he was fit? He seems to be less happy. I felt guilty about wanting him to lose weight so I never said this to him. Then he wanted to marry me so we married last year. I do not enjoy the sex with him anymore and I am hurting. I need to talk to him of course but it feels so big now because it has been this secret for many years. I am 26 only and he just became 30. I would like advice on how to have a conversation with him about his weight. It is weighing down our relationship too. I miss the days when there was less of his body. I know he is still inside the fat somewhere."

Special Segment: Awkward advice from strangers at Echo Park Lake: Part II

Final Thoughts: We love you.