The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide

The Awkward Human Survival Guide answers the uncomfortable questions everyone encounters on an unfortunately regular basis and talks to people around the world who embrace the stranger side of life.

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Hosted by Adam Dachis, Darren Herczeg, Erica Elson, and Richard Cardenas.

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100: The Big 100 (AKA Don't Eat My Boyfriends!)

February 10, 2016 at 2:30AM • 1 hour 7 minutes • Wiki Entry

This awkward week we're celebrating our 100th episode anniversary, asking random people to give you advice, and watching the world's most awkward masturbation video! Stay tuned for part two of this episode (101) next week. Want to ask a question on the show? Visit!

Check out for all your contacting us needs!

Show Notes & Links Presented by CacheFly

Awkward Situation of the Week: The original gang watches the most awkward jerk off video ever made. You can watch it with them! Just look for the link in the show notes.

This Week's Questions:

  • Advita (F) asks, "I got a question for the 100 episode anniversary. What is your most embarrassing moment and why? Thank you."
  • Ramona (19/SM) asks, "Hey there humans. I have a kid sister who is really really strange and I don't know if I need to do anything about her yet or not. She is 7 and her name is Horace. My name is Ramona and I am a boy (19). My parents wanted to subvert gender stereotypes but instead I have been teased my entire life. I am concerned for my sister because she is teased sometimes but she doesn't understand that's what's happening to her. It's like she's retarded without the retarded part. She responds to her bullies like they're nothing. Maybe she is brilliant or crazy. I do not know. Horace plays with Barbies and dolls like girls do but in ways that girls don't. She likes to play Barbie office where Barbie types on anyone's laptop and writes documents in Microsoft Word. Barbie doesn't drink coffee during work because it is devil juice (I think she heard this at school from someone). Barbie only drinks filtered tap water. During her free time, Barbie plays the Didgeridoo (a tampon Horace stole from my mom) at a jazz night club and all the men swoon for her. (The men are always Raisinets and half of them are eaten during the show.) My family is strange and kids are strange but Horace takes her strangeness into the real world. She steals Raisinets from other kids at school and says 'don't eat my boyfriends!' She wrote an essay for first grade about what she wanted to be as an adult and that was a janitor for oranges because she wanted to know where all the peels went. Her teacher called my parents in who defended her creativity when the teacher was concerned she might have a learning disability. I love my sister and want the best for her. I don't want to change her. She is very creative. My parents are San Francisco Yippies and not in tune with how life actually works and because Horace is very strange I don't know if I should say or do something to protect her. She is only 7 but still delusional. I don't think she understands her imagination and the world are separate. My parents will not take her to therapy or help her in any way. They want her to become her own woman. My girlfriend says I need to step in and be more aggressive but I am not sure I agree. I don't know anything about raising a child and maybe her behavior isn't definitely abnormal. I know you don't have kids but do you're a lot older than me. What do you think?"
  • Sam (20/SM) asks, "I'm good looking, smart, ambitious, very positive guy. I can't get a girlfriend. You told some guy to shut the heck up last time they wrote in about being great and it's not like that with me. I don't know how to have a genuine exciting conversation. This girl told me I was overqualified for a relationship. What does that even mean? Help appreciated. Love the show and aloha!"

Special Segment: Awkward advice from strangers at Echo Park Lake: Part I

Final Thoughts: Happy 100th anniversary to us!

Related Links:

  • Triumph Over ADversity: Do you love our ads? Now you can have them in your ears on demand with Triumph Over ADversity: Volume One! Listen to all your favorites and even some new, exclusive ones you've never heard before. For only $5 this album of real fake ads can be yours, or anyone's. Give us your money!!
  • Believe it or not, you can actually go to RIGHT NOW and get in touch with us in lots of awesome new ways! Adam is very sorry it took so long to get up and we all are very thankful to Connor Vickers for making it for us. Please send in your questions there going forward! If you go to you'll be sent there, but if you want to ignore all of Connor's awesome work you can call us directly at 509-AWKWARD. He got us that number so technically you won't be ignoring his work. You can also text us there! We can text you back after you call! It's really cool.
  • The Good News Bad News Podcast: Our new friend Jeffrey Jay (whom you remember from episode 97) has a new podcast with Beau Bowker called Good News Bad News. You should check it out because it's really funny! Adam is on one of the first episodes!
  • Watch This Porn When Instructed: You will be instructed during the show to watch this porn. Do so at that time.